What is Confidence and How to Cultivate it

Much of the work I do with clients revolves around building self-esteem and developing confidence. But what is confidence? And how do you know when you have it?

The word confidence comes from the Latin breakdown of the word: con' (with) and 'fidere' (trust). In essence, confidence is a trust in yourself. In order for others to witness you as a person with confidence, you must first develop that trust in yourself.

Some elements I’ve found to be foundational for building real, lasting confidence are the ability to acknowledge and identify your strengths, the ability to embrace your weaknesses, and the ability to accept yourself even when you don’t “accept” yourself.

Let’s explore these a bit:

Acknowledging and identifying your strengths is an important element of confidence, because it enables you to honor and celebrate the qualities about yourself that are worthwhile and valuable. When I explore this work with clients, I help them explore if there is a balance of both interpersonal and intrapersonal strengths. I emphasize the importance of acknowledging the intrapersonal strengths, as those are not tied to others, and, essentially, related to the way you experience yourself.

Embracing your weaknesses involves the ability to accept the qualities you have that aren’t “perfect” or “the best” and allowing them to be a part of yourself, as opposed to defining your whole self. When we can learn to find the beauty in our weaknesses, not only can we begin to love the entirety of ourselves, but we can also begin to isolate weaknesses that are mutable or fixed. 

The final stage that is the most important to consistently practice is accepting yourself even when you don’t “accept” yourself. By this I mean, when you’re hard on yourself or not feeling your best, you don’t start *shoulding* all over yourself that you shouldn’t be hard on yourself. Rather, you can accept that, as a dynamic human, you may experience some harder moments, and trust that you can return to a more compassionate sense of self.

Looking to build confidence and self-esteem? Working with a therapist is a great place to start! Please get in touch with our Client Care Coordinator at Root to Rise to book an appointment with one of our therapists today!

Warmly,

Atalie Abramovici, LMFT