Identifying Trauma

Trauma is a term we often hear, but it’s one that can be tough to define clearly. As a therapist specializing in trauma, I get asked many questions about what exactly trauma is, how to recognize it, and why it can affect people so differently. Here, I'll break down some of the basics: What constitutes trauma, how we can identify it, and why one person might be deeply impacted by something that someone else seems to brush off.

What Constitutes Trauma?

When we talk about “trauma,” we’re talking about an emotional or psychological response to a distressing event or experience. It’s not necessarily the event itself that’s traumatic but rather the way it impacts a person’s sense of safety, stability, or identity. Trauma often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or disconnected from themselves or others.

Trauma can stem from a wide variety of experiences—natural disasters, accidents, abuse, loss, and even prolonged exposure to stress or instability. It’s not limited to the dramatic events you see in movies; sometimes, subtle and persistent experiences, like emotional neglect or chronic stress, can be just as traumatic. Trauma is less about what happened and more about how a person experienced it and the lasting effects it had on their sense of safety and well-being.

What Are the Steps to Identifying Trauma?

Recognizing trauma can be tricky because it manifests in different ways. Here are a few steps that can help identify trauma, both for yourself and for those around you:

1. Look for Changes in Behavior or Mood

Trauma can show up as shifts in behavior or mood. For some, it leads to withdrawal or isolation; for others, it may appear as irritability, aggression, or even a constant sense of vigilance. Someone who once seemed confident and relaxed might now avoid certain situations, become easily startled, or display changes in sleep patterns.

2. Notice Physical Symptoms

Trauma doesn’t just affect the mind; it impacts the body too. Physical symptoms like chronic headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension, or fatigue can sometimes indicate trauma, especially when no clear medical cause is present. Trauma affects our nervous system, so these physical signals are worth paying attention to.

3. Identify Patterns of Reliving or Avoiding

People who have experienced trauma may find themselves re-experiencing certain memories or feelings (flashbacks, nightmares) or going to great lengths to avoid anything that reminds them of the trauma. Avoidance can look like skipping out on activities, places, or even certain people that bring up distressing memories or emotions.

4. Observe Emotional Responses and Triggers

Sometimes, people with trauma have intense emotional responses that don’t seem to “fit” the situation. A minor conflict might evoke feelings of panic, shame, or even numbness. Triggers—events, smells, sounds, or even words—can evoke strong reactions that often feel hard to explain or control.

Can Something Be Traumatic for One Person, but Not Another?

Absolutely. Trauma is personal. Two people can experience the exact same event, and one may walk away relatively unaffected while the other is deeply impacted. This doesn’t mean one person is “tougher” than the other; it just means that their past experiences, personality, support systems, and coping mechanisms differ.

For example, someone who grew up in a stable and nurturing environment may have a different response to a stressful event than someone who’s experienced repeated hardships. Trauma impacts people in a highly individual way, so comparing reactions can be misleading. Instead, it’s important to recognize each person’s unique experience and response.

Why Trauma Can Be Hard to Recognize

Identifying trauma isn’t always straightforward. Many of us don’t recognize trauma in ourselves because we might downplay our experiences, thinking, “It wasn’t that bad.” Or, we may believe that trauma only comes from major life-threatening events. The reality is that trauma is often subtle, and it can take time to notice its effects.

Remember, trauma isn’t just about surviving what happened—it’s about dealing with the ways it impacts us. Recognizing and validating your own experience (or someone else’s) is the first step toward healing. Seeking support, whether through therapy, community, or personal healing practices, is key to managing and processing trauma.

If you’re ready to start processing your own trauma, consider reaching out to a therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Reach out to our client care coordinator today to discover a therapist who can offer a safe space to explore, understand, and work through the effects of trauma at your own pace.

Warmly,

Helene, AMFT