How to Make the Most Out of Your Time in Therapy 

So you’ve finally taken the leap and decided to commit to therapy. Congratulations! You’ve had your consultation calls, made your choice of therapist, and filled out your intake paperwork. You sit across from the therapist on the couch, or open up your computer screen and hope the camera is angled in a way where your sweatpants are hidden. Given the investment of time and money, and your high hopes for a successful therapy experience,  you may want to know, “How can I get the absolute most out of my therapy session?” 

Here are 5 tips to make the most out of your time in therapy: 

1) Meet every week while getting started

Therapy is an investment in yourself and your future. Cost is a valid and relevant factor in determining the frequency of sessions, but we highly recommend meeting for weekly therapy sessions for at least 1-2 months when first getting started.  Lori Gottlieb, bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, summarizes the goal of therapy as: “ In the bittersweet way that parents raise their kids not to need them anymore, therapists work to lose patients, not retain them, because the successful outcome is that you feel better and leave. (Can you imagine a worse business model?)” The more work you put in up front, the quicker and more effective the healing process will be. Meeting every week while getting started also helps the client and therapist build an alliance and a foundation, clarify important details, and maintain momentum. The more time and effort that is put in up front, the more effective and expedited the process will be and the quicker both you can meet your goals. 

2) Be honest about your feelings 

Some of the most impactful sessions I have had with clients start with a client saying, “I don’t know what to talk about today.” The therapy room serves as a microcosm of a client’s outside world, so focusing on what you are feeling and sharing what is coming up in the moment can lead to insights that apply to other areas of your life.  Remember, the therapist doesn’t have any expectations about you bringing certain content into therapy. There is no one right way to use therapy.  Everything you share in therapy is what we call “grist for the mill.” The process of therapy is just as important as the content, and awkwardness is completely normal. 

3) Take notes throughout the week

If you notice yourself struggling to recall your feelings from the week when you sit down to begin a session, start taking notes and jotting down ideas throughout the week. I often encourage clients to keep a running list on the Notes app in their phones so they remember to circle back when they have the time to talk about it in therapy. For clients who are visually oriented, I like to use a metaphor that is commonly used in EMDR therapy called “The Container Exercise.” I help clients visualize a container they can use to store memories or feelings that come up throughout sessions that deserve more time and attention than they may be able to give in the current moment.  I recommend clients visualize placing content and feelings into their container throughout the week to be kept safe until it is time to deal with them in therapy. 

4) Set goals and be honest about progress

Some clients come into therapy with specific goals in mind, while others may just have the general sense that they want to feel better. Your therapist can help you set attainable goals and check in regularly about progress. If you don’t feel like you’re improving or want to reassess, tell your therapist! There are many different ways to track progress, and therapeutic progress may feel difficult to quantify. The therapist can help by having you  fill out assessments that measure symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other areas of functioning. 

5) Focus on self-improvement between sessions 

Though therapy sessions are just 50 minutes a week, the bulk of the work of therapy happens between  session.  Utilize any tools you have learned throughout the week, and write down any new insights that come up between sessions. If you’re wondering about exercises to try between sessions, ask your therapist for tips! Make sure to focus on taking care of yourself on a daily basis by practicing self-care and using your coping skills between sessions. 

I hope that these 5 tips have helped you motivated self-improvement seekers understand more about how to get the absolute most out of your therapy sessions.  Committing to therapy is one of the biggest and most transformational steps you can take towards changing your life, being more fulfilled, and creating secure and happy relationships.   If not knowing what to talk about in therapy has been standing in your way of reaching out, this is completely normal! Our therapists are here to help you figure out the best way to structure the time.   Remember, you are the experts in your own lives, while you therapist is an expert in creating a safe space for you to access your inner strength and facilitate your greatest healing. We are here to help you collaborate on a treatment plan together! 

If you are ready to make big changes in your life, schedule your free consultation today.   Our Client Care Coordinator will see which one of our therapists is the best fit for you.

Warmly,

Jessica Leader, AMFT

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