Are you in a new and promising relationship and don’t want past issues to come up and interfere? Have you been been cheated on or betrayed in the past causing you to have trust issues in your current relationship? Have you had some pretty bad relationships in the past and put up with a lot from undeserving partners? Do you find yourself now in relationship that is really really good-- and you just want to keep is that way? If you’ve had pretty contentious and argumentative relationships in the past it might be confusing to be in a new relationship with a nice person that respects you, is willing to listen and also give you space.

Does it seem like your emotions get the best of you? Do you feel reactive, insecure, and jealous in relationships, even when there is sometimes no reason to?

Are you constantly worried about losing your relationship or being left? Or maybe that your feelings are just too big or too much for someone and will ultimately push them away? Do you worry that you wont’ be able to escape your past and that you will bring your past into your present relationships? Do you harbor a secret fear that you are doomed and incapable of having a happy and healthy relationship? A lot of clients come to therapy having found a new partner who they are really excited about, and are afraid that they will drive away the best relationship they’ve ever had.

Case Example:

Therapy for Relationship Issues

A current Root To Rise Therapy client, Emily, lived in a very small apartment with her new boyfriend. She finally met a guy that was kind, stable, and loving but found herself feeling overwhelmed with the transition to cohabitation. She felt cramped in the small space. She was very organized and clean and had a low tolerance for not being in control of her environment.

Even though she was so happy living with her boyfriend, there were moments where she felt like she was going to lose it. She noticed herself overthinking things and becoming irritable and inpatient with her boyfriend. This was Emily’s first time living with a partner, and she wanted to make sure she was doing everything right to ensure the health and longevity of her relationship.

In therapy she learned how to be more patient and less reactive in her relationship.  She learned how to communicate her feelings clearly but kindly so that she wasn’t being irritable or mean. She learned a routine of self-care that helped her to ground herself so that she was able to better manage the stressors in her life. Two years later, Emily and her boyfriend bought a 3 bedroom home and are now living happily with their new puppy, communicating well, and on the road to marriage!

For Dating

There are so many reasons that both individuals and couples come to relationship therapy. The truth is, you do not need to be IN a relationship to have relationship issues! We all carry around baggage from our past— both from our childhood and from our past relationships (both romantic and friendships), that can interfere with the way that we approach dating and relationships in the present. Dating can be extremely triggering and we have to get really good at learning to deal with uncertainty, rejection, confusion, and worst off: the dreaded “ghosting.” Therapy can offer a supportive space to work through the trials and pains of dating, to learn to tolerate uncertainty, deal with the ups and downs of falling in and out of love, and increase self-confidence and self-worth so that you know what you deserve and wont settle for less!

For Relationship Ambivalence

Are you in a committed relationship, but not sure if you are ready to commit to this person for life? A lot of people come to therapy to talk through their relationship ambivalence to gain clarity on if they want to move forward with their partner or not. Maybe everything works perfectly, but the attraction isn’t there. Or the attraction is there, but the conversation is not. It can bring up a lot of fear and anxiety to be in a relationship but have ambivalence about your “forever.” Sometimes, lots of relationship ambivalence can stem from our own low self-worth and inability to tune into our own feelings. Therapy can help you sort through your feelings of ambivalence and gain clarity about how to move forward.

For Issues with Family/Friends

Other clients come to therapy to discuss friendships that are fading or difficulties with family members. As we transition in phases of life, we might see our loved ones, “chosen family”, or actual family go off into their grownup relationships, have children, and move on. This can bring up a lot of fears about being alone and maintaining happy and fulfilling relationships. 

Therapy will help you gain get some mental clarity and talk through issues and feelings that you’ve possibly been ignoring or purposely avoiding. It can also help you get to a place where even if you are feeling jealous, paranoid, or insecure, you can learn to quiet and understand these feelings and express them clearly and kindly.

Therapy can help you learn to be less reactive so that anger and insecurities no longer get the best of you. At Root To Rise, our dedicated therapists will help you work through you past relationship “drama”- or trauma- so that you are not carrying your past with you into your current relationships- romantic or friendly!

Therapy will help you be the best version of yourself so that you are not bringing unhealthy patterns from your past into your next relationship. If you are feeling ready to:

• Let go of suspicion and jealousy

• Be less reactive and aggressive

• Communicate in an open and loving way in relationships, not from a place of reactivity and FEAR.

• Communicate clearly but kindly

• Be your best self in your current/next relationship and leave your past relationship drama behind you

• Learn to tolerate the roller-coaster of dating