Most people who overthink aren’t doing it because they enjoy worrying. They’re doing it because some part of them believes that if they think hard enough, long enough, or carefully enough, they can prevent pain, rejection, disappointment, or uncertainty.

The longer we go avoiding the obligation, the stronger the pressure becomes. The stronger the pressure, the further away we get from wanting to work on or accomplish the “should”.  And in the space between “should” and “done”, anxiety covertly burrows under, expands, and fills the gap like a thick, nasty stink-bomb.

Many couples who work through their resistance to couples therapy ultimately find that the experience becomes a meaningful, weekly ritual of caring for their relationship.

Being productive or accomplished can become a primary way of feeling like we're enough. So when life slows down, it can really feel like an identity disruption.

OCD can present itself in many shapes and sizes, and there's a range of different subtypes, all behaving the same but around different content.

In couples therapy, blame is rarely the whole story. More often, blame is what we reach for when something deeper feels too vulnerable, too uncertain, or too scary to say directly.

You may have learned what to do or say to make things go smoother. You may have learned what behaviors or attitudes made people stay. You learned what made you easier to accept.

And slowly, those lessons became automatic.