Growing pains. Roads never taken. A friendship slowly fading. Loss of trust. A childhood never lived. An estranged parent. A version of yourself you never became.
When most people hear the word grief, they think of losing a loved one to death. And while that can be one of the most painful types of grief, it’s not the only one. Grief is actually a natural emotional response to any significant loss, not just the loss of a person, but the loss of routines, roles, relationships, dreams, or even parts of ourselves.
Here are some examples of non-death losses we can grieve:
Loss of a relationship, whether a breakup, divorce, or fading friendship. Relationship loss means mourning the end of connection, identity, and future dreams. Someone going through a breakup isn’t just grieving the person; they might also be grieving their daily routines (the midday “How’s your day going, honey?” texts), their sense of home (“they were my person”), future plans (maybe starting a family together), mutual friends, or even a version of themselves that existed in that relationship.
Loss of a job, career path, or sense of purpose. Change naturally brings grief. We often have to let go of something familiar to make room for something new, whether that’s a role or how we see ourselves. Student to graduate, intern to employee, parents to empty nesters — each transition holds loss.
Loss of health. Any decline in your physical or mental abilities means grieving the “before” version of yourself or your body.
Loss of the future you thought you’d have, whether it’s a career path, a life opportunity, having children, or where you expected to be by a certain age. This could look like a failed fertility journey, a visa rejection, or a canceled wedding.
Loss of trust, grieving the ability to feel safe and secure in something or someone you relied on, a relationship, religion, government, or even yourself. Betrayal, war, natural disasters can all shake that foundation.
These faces of loss may be smaller or less visible, but the pain is real.
Beyond these, grief can also arrive before a loss even happens, that slow-burning, anticipatory grief that aches long before the event. A relationship on the edge, a loved one fighting illness.
Many faces of grief go unrecognized, silent, disenfranchised, like losing a pet, a pregnancy, or grieving someone lost to incarceration. These losses are often carried quietly, especially when the grief they bring isn’t socially validated. But that doesn’t make it any less real.
Shame often arises when we fail to acknowledge the grief we’re experiencing. Why is it so hard to focus at work? Why do I feel so different? Why can’t I just get over it? These questions reflect the internal pressure many of us feel to push past grief quickly, even when healing takes time. A big part of healing is simply recognizing that what you’re experiencing is grief. Once we name it, we can start working with it instead of feeling stuck or confused. What you’re feeling is natural. It’s human.
If any of these experiences of loss resonate with you and you’d like support, we’re here for you. Whether you’re navigating life transitions, relationship challenges, or other non-death losses, reach out to our Client Care Coordinator today to find a therapist who can walk alongside you through your healing process.
Warmly,
Kalie Pham, LMFT
