When most people hear the word grief, they think of losing a loved one to death. And while that can be one of the most painful types of grief, it’s not the only one. Grief is actually a natural emotional response to any significant loss, not just the loss of a person, but the loss of routines, roles, relationships, dreams, or even parts of ourselves.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I know this isn’t logical, but I still feel it,” or “I wish I could stop being so hard on myself”? These are moments where different parts of us seem to be pulling in opposite directions, and they’re exactly the kinds of moments where Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can be deeply helpful.
When people think about repair in relationships, they often picture big conversations or emotional apologies. But most repair attempts are quieter than that. They’re easy to miss. They live in moments of tension when one partner reaches out, not with words, but with a shift in tone, a glance, a hesitant gesture.
And often, these moments fail not because they’re rejected, but because they’re unnoticed.
Along with the obsessive mental replay comes a series of questions and confusion, with no satisfying answers. Questioning your own memory or perception: Was any of it real? Am I going crazy? Your own value: Was I not attractive enough? Desirable enough? Questioning the truth of who this person was the entire time, who now feels like a complete stranger. The compulsion to know everything: Who? What? Where? When? How? Is healing what I want? Is it even possible? What happens if I leave? What happens if I stay?
We all come into new relationships with our own biases and blind spots. These can come from our childhoods, our past relationships, our internal worlds, and some many other areas. We usually have varying degrees of awareness about what these are and where they come from. The cruel irony is that we are often so fearful about recreating patterns and experiencing similar painful dynamics that we inadvertently become even more primed to notice and overinflate these characteristics. This psychological bias in relationships can skew our perceptions and lead us to misread signals.
When most people hear the word grief, they think of losing a loved one to death. And while that can be one of the most painful types of grief, it’s not the only one. Grief is actually a natural emotional response to any significant loss, not just the loss of a person, but the loss of routines, roles, relationships, dreams, or even parts of ourselves.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I know this isn’t logical, but I still feel it,” or “I wish I could stop being so hard on myself”? These are moments where different parts of us seem to be pulling in opposite directions, and they’re exactly the kinds of moments where Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can be deeply helpful.
When it comes to healing from trauma, discomfort can sometimes be part of the process. In EMDR, it often means something meaningful is starting to move.
When people think of trauma therapy, they often assume that remembering the traumatic event is a necessary part of healing. But what if you don’t remember? Whether due to childhood amnesia, dissociation, or the brain’s natural defense mechanisms, many people struggle with unclear or missing memories of painful experiences. If this sounds familiar, you may wonder: Can EMDR Therapy still help?
Imagine your emotional state as existing within a window. When you're within this window, you can think clearly, make rational decisions, and feel in control of your emotions. This state allows you to handle daily stresses without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. It’s where we experience a balance between our sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) nervous systems. This is your window of tolerance.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a term often tossed around casually. You’ve probably heard someone say, “I’m so OCD” about organizing their desk or arranging their bookshelf. But OCD is so much more than a preference for tidiness or a quirky habit. It’s a mental health condition that can feel overwhelming and exhausting, often making everyday life an uphill battle. Let’s take a closer look at what OCD really is and how it can show up in people’s lives.
While the holidays are filled with the warmth of loved ones around the table, laughter echoing through the house, and shared traditions, grief sees the empty chair, the unspoken name, the absence of familiar voices and touches. What should feel like togetherness instead brings a longing for what is no longer possible.
Our senses play a pivotal role in how we form, store, and retrieve memories. This is because the brain areas responsible for processing sensory input are closely linked to the regions that store and retrieve memories. The hippocampus, which organizes and recalls memories, works together with the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain. They ensure that emotionally charged events are more vividly stored in memory. This link exists for both extraordinarily painful and joyful memories alike.
When we talk about “trauma,” we’re talking about an emotional or psychological response to a distressing event or experience. It’s not necessarily the event itself that’s traumatic but rather the way it impacts a person’s sense of safety, stability, or identity. Trauma often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or disconnected from themselves or others.
