When we think about goals, we often default to familiar categories: working out more, eating differently, and being more productive. These can be meaningful goals, but they tend to fall apart when they’re too vague or disconnected from who we actually are.
You've probably heard of PTSD — It tends to be discussed in connection with a specific, overwhelming event, something clearly identifiable that the nervous system struggles to recover from. Complex PTSD (or C-PTSD) is chronic and talked about less often, even though it affects many people whose experiences don’t fit that single-event narrative.
When we experience disappointing responses to our efforts, it’s tempting to make that mean something about how unskilled we are, how incompetent we must be, or even how unlovable or undeserving of a person we feel we are. We tell ourselves a story that if we had just worked a little harder, or said the right thing, or “mastered” the extremely simple art of toasting toast, then we would receive a more favorable response and thus, feel better about ourselves.
We often hear the words “emotional regulation” and think it means: “be rational instead of emotional” or “maybe just don’t feel your emotions at all!” Maybe you’ve even heard that if you let yourself feel the emotions, then people will view you as “emotionally unstable”. If you’ve heard any of the above, it totally makes sense.
Everywhere we turn, there’s a gut-wrenching headline that grips us, a new app competing for our time, or a notification that demands immediate response. Quick PSA: if you are finding it difficult to focus, it's. not. your. fault. We live in a world designed to fragment our attention.
When we think about goals, we often default to familiar categories: working out more, eating differently, and being more productive. These can be meaningful goals, but they tend to fall apart when they’re too vague or disconnected from who we actually are.
You've probably heard of PTSD — It tends to be discussed in connection with a specific, overwhelming event, something clearly identifiable that the nervous system struggles to recover from. Complex PTSD (or C-PTSD) is chronic and talked about less often, even though it affects many people whose experiences don’t fit that single-event narrative.
When we experience disappointing responses to our efforts, it’s tempting to make that mean something about how unskilled we are, how incompetent we must be, or even how unlovable or undeserving of a person we feel we are. We tell ourselves a story that if we had just worked a little harder, or said the right thing, or “mastered” the extremely simple art of toasting toast, then we would receive a more favorable response and thus, feel better about ourselves.
Do you ever have “mixed feelings” or experience several different emotions all at once in response to one pertinent issue or life stressor? In these moments, does it sometimes feel like you’re sitting around a chaotic dining table with all of your most opinionated or eclectic family members talking about controversial topics like politics, social issues, simulation theory, flat-earth rhetoric or what kind of bagel is objectively most delicious? You may have just encountered the cacophony of your various inner parts, or your Internal Family System.
When survival quiets down, what’s left can feel unfamiliar. It’s strange to not always be scanning for danger. Strange to have choices instead of reflexes. Strange to realize that peace can feel unsafe when you’ve never had it before. This is the part of healing no one warns you about, the part that’s less “liberation” and more “relearning how to live.”
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I just relax?”, especially when nothing’s wrong, you’re not alone. For a lot of us, especially those who’ve spent years in go-mode, real rest doesn’t feel natural. In fact, it can feel kind of… uncomfortable.
Almost every client had questions and doubts about the EMDR experience beforehand. All questions are completely understandable, especially because there are some EMDR myths floating around the dialogue that can percolate and lead to a general sense of hesitation. Let’s break down together what EMDR is, and what EMDR isn’t.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I know this isn’t logical, but I still feel it,” or “I wish I could stop being so hard on myself”? These are moments where different parts of us seem to be pulling in opposite directions, and they’re exactly the kinds of moments where Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can be deeply helpful.
When it comes to healing from trauma, discomfort can sometimes be part of the process. In EMDR, it often means something meaningful is starting to move.
