When we talk about “trauma,” we’re talking about an emotional or psychological response to a distressing event or experience. It’s not necessarily the event itself that’s traumatic but rather the way it impacts a person’s sense of safety, stability, or identity. Trauma often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or disconnected from themselves or others.
I often use Gottman’s Sound Marital House as a framework to help couples build strong, healthy relationships. This theory breaks down into several key components that can enhance connection and resilience. One skill that stands out to me is Shared Fondness and Admiration, which involves openly expressing appreciation and respect for your partner (or friend).
The importance of validation is something I emphasize with couples as it creates a dynamic based on understanding rather than score-keeping or proving right and wrong. In an emotionally charged conversation, it's common for individuals to focus primarily on their own emotional experience instead of their partner’s. Rather than listening to what the other person is saying, we may be thinking about our own response.
A common struggle for many of my clients in their 20s is navigating friendships. This includes friendship conflicts, growing apart, reassessing the closeness of the friendship, and defining what types of friendships feel fulfilling in which ones feel draining. In these conversations, we explore the importance of flexibility in friendships and why it becomes so much more pertinent during this life stage.
I have thought through every situation from every possible angle my brain can come up with and analyzed so much of my life and experience that it often feels exhausting. This “self-awareness” can start to feel incredibly frustrating when I have some understanding, yet I still find myself in familiar patterns or generally not feeling better. If this description sounds familiar to you, you might be intellectualizing your feelings vs. actually feeling them.
The word confidence comes from the Latin breakdown of the word: con' (with) and 'fidere' (trust). In essence, confidence is a trust in yourself. In order for others to witness you as a person with confidence, you must first develop that trust in yourself.
Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals downplay their accomplishments, skills, or talents, and suffer persistent fear that they will be exposed as a ‘fraud’ despite having clear evidence of their competence
In my work as a therapist, I’ve noticed many clients experiencing a lack in their sense of self. Those who struggle with their sense of self tend to feel directionless, are overly self-critical, have low self-confidence and self-esteem, feel disconnected from their true identity, and prioritize others’ needs over their own. Though a lack of sense of self can manifest in different ways, the last piece of prioritizing others’ needs over their own is what ties all these clients’ experiences together. Almost all of my clients who struggle with their sense of self are people-pleasers.
Have you ever taken a step back to notice the mental chatter inside your head? The voice that says, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not lovable,” “If only I looked like that, I’d be happier,” “They probably don’t like me because…”
That, my friends, is your state of self-esteem—and while self-esteem is an ongoing, dynamic process of self-appraisal, we can learn to bring it into balance—much closer to where we would like it to be.
I love working with my clients to help them build tools to completely transform their relationships with themselves and to the outside world. Working together, I can help you build a toolkit to arrive at a foundation of internal validation—one that is less reliant upon external validation (which, to be honest, is not the most reliable).
I don’t just talk the talk, I walk the walk—and, trust me, this walk is the one with the best view ;).
Here are my 6 best tips for increasing your self-esteem so that you are no longer seeking validation from the outside world and can finally look within yourself to see your true value.
Inner-child work.
Reparenting your inner child.
You may have heard these terms circling around in conversations, popping up while scrolling social media, or even mentioned to you by your therapist. But what actually IS inner child work?? What does it look like? & why is it so important? I’m here to answer those questions for you :)
