When survival quiets down, what’s left can feel unfamiliar. It’s strange to not always be scanning for danger. Strange to have choices instead of reflexes. Strange to realize that peace can feel unsafe when you’ve never had it before. This is the part of healing no one warns you about, the part that’s less “liberation” and more “relearning how to live.”
When most couples are in conflict, they often get stuck in a cycle of trying to win, rather than trying to understand each other. The fight escalates because we don’t feel heard. And when we don’t feel heard, we protect ourselves, by defending, explaining, or shutting down.
Have you ever cried on your birthday? If so, you’re clearly not alone. So why is that? And why do so many of us have such complicated relationships with our birthdays? Some people thrive, dedicating an entire month to celebrations and gatherings. Others prefer to let the day pass by without acknowledgement.
One of the reasons why conflict becomes so dangerous and unruly in relationships is due to the heightened emotionality of each person and the natural defensive and retaliatory responses elicited. In other words, when we hurl our raw, level 10 emotions at another person during conflict, it will most likely be met by more heightened emotion, defensiveness, or even complete emotional withdrawal or shut down.
Somatic therapy is based on the understanding that emotions don’t just live in our minds—they show up in our bodies too. Talking about how we feel can bring clarity, but sometimes the body needs to release what it’s been holding. Somatic therapy gives space for that release, helping you connect mind and body in the healing process.
When survival quiets down, what’s left can feel unfamiliar. It’s strange to not always be scanning for danger. Strange to have choices instead of reflexes. Strange to realize that peace can feel unsafe when you’ve never had it before. This is the part of healing no one warns you about, the part that’s less “liberation” and more “relearning how to live.”
When most couples are in conflict, they often get stuck in a cycle of trying to win, rather than trying to understand each other. The fight escalates because we don’t feel heard. And when we don’t feel heard, we protect ourselves, by defending, explaining, or shutting down.
Have you ever cried on your birthday? If so, you’re clearly not alone. So why is that? And why do so many of us have such complicated relationships with our birthdays? Some people thrive, dedicating an entire month to celebrations and gatherings. Others prefer to let the day pass by without acknowledgement.
One of the reasons why conflict becomes so dangerous and unruly in relationships is due to the heightened emotionality of each person and the natural defensive and retaliatory responses elicited. In other words, when we hurl our raw, level 10 emotions at another person during conflict, it will most likely be met by more heightened emotion, defensiveness, or even complete emotional withdrawal or shut down.
Somatic therapy is based on the understanding that emotions don’t just live in our minds—they show up in our bodies too. Talking about how we feel can bring clarity, but sometimes the body needs to release what it’s been holding. Somatic therapy gives space for that release, helping you connect mind and body in the healing process.
Do you sometimes feel like the choices you’ve made since starting therapy are a bit… extreme? Maybe you’ve learned to set boundaries, and now you’re saying “no” to everything. Or perhaps you’ve been encouraged to feel your emotions, and now it feels like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. This wobble is something I see often in therapy. It’s what I call “overcorrection”—and while it might feel uncomfortable, it’s actually a powerful sign of progress
In therapy, I frequently work with couples who have focused on togetherness and might have neglected separateness, or vice versa. We can spend so much time and energy strengthening our relationships that our own individuation can get neglected. Here’s some of what I’ve learned from working with couples
September is here. This bittersweet mix of summer ending and autumn beginning brings a wave of nostalgia, making it a natural time for gentle reflection. Just as the seasons shift, we can soften into letting go, practicing forgiveness, and beginning anew.
Entering a long-distance relationship often feels like an emotional whirlwind - anxiety, worry, sadness, excitement. Whether you’re beginning your relationship long-distance or transitioning into it, the experience can be a major adjustment.
