Why You Might Feel Worse Before You Feel Better in EMDR
A compassionate guide for anyone starting trauma therapy
If you're starting EMDR therapy or even just thinking about it, you might have heard something surprising. Sometimes it can feel worse before it feels better. For many people, that can be confusing or even discouraging. You’re coming to therapy to feel better, not to dig up more pain, right?
That reaction is completely understandable. But here’s the truth. When it comes to healing from trauma, discomfort can sometimes be part of the process. In EMDR, it often means something meaningful is starting to move.
EMDR Is More Than Talking
EMDR is a type of therapy that helps your brain process painful or overwhelming experiences that never quite resolved. It is different from traditional talk therapy. Instead of simply talking through your story, EMDR supports your nervous system in releasing what it has been holding.
That process is powerful. And like any kind of deep healing, it can stir things up. Imagine what it is like to go to physical therapy after an old injury. Moving the area might feel sore at first, but it is the kind of soreness that leads to strength and recovery.
What This Discomfort Is Really Telling You
Here are a few reasons you might feel more emotional, anxious, or unsettled during EMDR work.
You are accessing parts of your experience that were stored away. EMDR helps you connect with memories, emotions, or body sensations that may have been pushed aside in order to cope. Bringing those into awareness can feel intense, even if it is ultimately a relief.
Your body is adjusting to new patterns. Many people come into therapy operating in a chronic state of stress, whether that shows up as anxiety, numbness, or overthinking. As your system begins to shift, you might feel a little off balance. That is completely normal.
You are beginning to let go of old defenses. For many, emotional avoidance or shutting down has been a form of protection. EMDR gently begins to soften those responses. While that is helpful in the long term, it can feel unfamiliar and even a little scary at first.
You’re in Charge of the Process
EMDR should always move at a pace that feels manageable for you. It is not about pushing through or reliving trauma. A well-trained therapist will help you stay grounded and present throughout the process. If things ever feel too intense, there are always ways to pause, adjust, or return to resourcing.
What Can Help Between Sessions?
This is where your self-care and internal tools really matter. Some simple practices that can support you include:
Use grounding techniques. Your therapist may have guided you through calming strategies like safe place imagery, breathing exercises, or bilateral tapping. These tools are there for you to use any time you need to settle or soothe your system.
Track your reactions with kindness. EMDR can bring up a range of responses, including shifts in dreams, mood, or energy. Try to notice these without judgment. They are often signs that your brain is actively integrating.
Stay in connection. Healing is not something you have to do alone. If you feel confused or overwhelmed, let your therapist know. That feedback helps guide the work and keeps the process safe and supportive.
If you are in the middle of EMDR and feeling a little shaken, please know that you are not broken. You are healing. The work you are doing takes courage, and it is okay if it feels messy at times. Often, that messiness is the very thing that leads to relief.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you're feeling curious about EMDR or wondering if it could support your healing, we invite you to reach out to our Client Care Coordinator. They can help you explore your options and connect you with one of our experienced trauma-informed EMDR therapists.
Warmly,
Helene Bringsli, AMFT
