Sometimes it’s difficult to know if therapy is the right choice for you at the stage of your life that you’re in. So, how do we make that decision?
Most people who overthink aren’t doing it because they enjoy worrying. They’re doing it because some part of them believes that if they think hard enough, long enough, or carefully enough, they can prevent pain, rejection, disappointment, or uncertainty.
The longer we go avoiding the obligation, the stronger the pressure becomes. The stronger the pressure, the further away we get from wanting to work on or accomplish the “should”. And in the space between “should” and “done”, anxiety covertly burrows under, expands, and fills the gap like a thick, nasty stink-bomb.
When you've spent years appearing self-sufficient, people often assume you don't need much support. You become the person everyone leans on while quietly wishing someone would ask how you're doing.
Most people who overthink aren’t doing it because they enjoy worrying. They’re doing it because some part of them believes that if they think hard enough, long enough, or carefully enough, they can prevent pain, rejection, disappointment, or uncertainty.
The longer we go avoiding the obligation, the stronger the pressure becomes. The stronger the pressure, the further away we get from wanting to work on or accomplish the “should”. And in the space between “should” and “done”, anxiety covertly burrows under, expands, and fills the gap like a thick, nasty stink-bomb.
When you've spent years appearing self-sufficient, people often assume you don't need much support. You become the person everyone leans on while quietly wishing someone would ask how you're doing.
Being productive or accomplished can become a primary way of feeling like we're enough. So when life slows down, it can really feel like an identity disruption.
You may have learned what to do or say to make things go smoother. You may have learned what behaviors or attitudes made people stay. You learned what made you easier to accept.
And slowly, those lessons became automatic.
Attachment styles are not your identity, but rather patterns for how your nervous system learned to keep you safe.
The moment we pick something up, our brain starts asking: How can I get better at this? How can I optimize this? Is this a productive use of my Saturday? The result? We never actually relax.
Change can be exciting, a chance to start over and experience new opportunities and challenges. We are often taught and expected to celebrate these transitions. So it can be confusing when we feel emotions other than joy or excitement.
No matter how absurd or seemingly random, our dreams contain rich unconscious material that acts as a symbolic treasure hunt leading towards our inner psyche.
