For those in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies or NPD – whether a parent, partner, or close friend – the experience can feel captivating, destabilizing, and difficult to navigate. Long-term relationships with these individuals can leave a profound and long-lasting effect.
We’ve all been there—stuck in the same old argument that keeps resurfacing no matter how hard you try to move past it. Maybe it starts over something small, like chores, but it spirals into something much bigger, leaving both of you feeling hurt and disconnected. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These recurring arguments can leave even the most loving couples feeling stuck. The good news? Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help you break the cycle.
The truth is, therapy isn’t just about processing crises; it’s also a space for exploration, reflection, and growth. And if you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay!
Through my work as a therapist and within my personal life, I’ve witnessed the pressure of society’s beauty standards, and how it can greatly impact someone’s self-esteem and body image. While this experience is fairly common, there is a difference between temporary dissatisfaction with your appearance and a diagnosis. For someone with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), this preoccupation can take over your daily life, leading to a constant loop of anxiety, self-doubt, and shame.
Imagine your emotional state as existing within a window. When you're within this window, you can think clearly, make rational decisions, and feel in control of your emotions. This state allows you to handle daily stresses without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. It’s where we experience a balance between our sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) nervous systems. This is your window of tolerance.
For those in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies or NPD – whether a parent, partner, or close friend – the experience can feel captivating, destabilizing, and difficult to navigate. Long-term relationships with these individuals can leave a profound and long-lasting effect.
We’ve all been there—stuck in the same old argument that keeps resurfacing no matter how hard you try to move past it. Maybe it starts over something small, like chores, but it spirals into something much bigger, leaving both of you feeling hurt and disconnected. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These recurring arguments can leave even the most loving couples feeling stuck. The good news? Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help you break the cycle.
The truth is, therapy isn’t just about processing crises; it’s also a space for exploration, reflection, and growth. And if you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay!
Imagine your emotional state as existing within a window. When you're within this window, you can think clearly, make rational decisions, and feel in control of your emotions. This state allows you to handle daily stresses without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. It’s where we experience a balance between our sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) nervous systems. This is your window of tolerance.
In movies and TV shows, we are exposed to fictional therapists who play a major or minor role in character development and plot. We have met therapists on the screen who are better than others, some representing more accurately the actual therapist-client relationship and some feeling completely unethical.
Here’s the thing: too much screen time is draining our mental energy, increasing our stress, and keeping us from actually enjoying (real) life. As a therapist, I see the impact of this all the time—our devices are disconnecting us from what really matters: ourselves, our relationships, and our well-being. So, this New Year, I’m personally challenging YOU (and myself) to a 30-Day Digital Detox.
In my work with children and parent coaching, many of my client’s parents have asked me something along the lines of, “How can I best support my child when they’re feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated?” This question has come up more recently due to the busy season, so here are some effective strategies* to help your child–and yourself– navigate moments of dysregulation with care and connection.
Life presents us with challenges–that is inevitable. Over the course of my life, I have witnessed immense resilience in people from my culture which presents as strikingly superhuman at times. However, certain key components and practices build this resounding resilience over time.
The miracle question is a fundamental technique used in Solution-Focused Therapy that allows clients to envision the life they want to live and consider alternate possibilities. In therapy, the metric of feeling better and making progress can be one that is challenging to assess. The miracle question helps us get a clearer vision of what this actually looks like, making it more manageable to work toward it. It allows us to better understand what we are working for.
