Everywhere we turn, there’s a gut-wrenching headline that grips us, a new app competing for our time, or a notification that demands immediate response. Quick PSA: if you are finding it difficult to focus, it's. not. your. fault. We live in a world designed to fragment our attention.
True reflection is gentle, curious, and grounded in self-compassion. It helps us move forward with intention rather than pressure. Here are some prompts I share with clients to reflect on the year that just passed
Do you ever have “mixed feelings” or experience several different emotions all at once in response to one pertinent issue or life stressor? In these moments, does it sometimes feel like you’re sitting around a chaotic dining table with all of your most opinionated or eclectic family members talking about controversial topics like politics, social issues, simulation theory, flat-earth rhetoric or what kind of bagel is objectively most delicious? You may have just encountered the cacophony of your various inner parts, or your Internal Family System.
I recommend journaling to many clients, and I talk with friends about how good it feels once I actually do it. And there’s always that moment — when I realize I’m not just recording my day anymore. I’m processing and speaking from a place I don’t usually slow down enough to access, and my inner world becomes so much more available.
So often we hear the phrase “new year, new you”. It creates this inevitable expectation that stepping into the new year should feel like a big change to ourselves, our goals, and/or our habits. For this reason, January is a month that can often hold so many mixed emotions: anxiety, guilt, pressure, shame, etc. We begin to feel more behind than inspired.
In therapy, I frequently work with couples who have focused on togetherness and might have neglected separateness, or vice versa. We can spend so much time and energy strengthening our relationships that our own individuation can get neglected. Here’s some of what I’ve learned from working with couples
In all relationships, life occurs, and shifts happen outside of and inside the couple unit. As much as we may want to protect our relationship bubble from outside influences, we are not immune to the climate around us. If we expect to be the same people, with the same life, and the same experiences throughout a long-term relationship, we are actually setting ourselves up to be especially vulnerable to the impact of both external pressures and internal change. Change will happen. The adage of change being the only constant is especially true when navigating relationship changes. So how do we navigate them together, instead of growing apart?
Almost every client had questions and doubts about the EMDR experience beforehand. All questions are completely understandable, especially because there are some EMDR myths floating around the dialogue that can percolate and lead to a general sense of hesitation. Let’s break down together what EMDR is, and what EMDR isn’t.
We all come into new relationships with our own biases and blind spots. These can come from our childhoods, our past relationships, our internal worlds, and some many other areas. We usually have varying degrees of awareness about what these are and where they come from. The cruel irony is that we are often so fearful about recreating patterns and experiencing similar painful dynamics that we inadvertently become even more primed to notice and overinflate these characteristics. This psychological bias in relationships can skew our perceptions and lead us to misread signals.
In movies and TV shows, we are exposed to fictional therapists who play a major or minor role in character development and plot. We have met therapists on the screen who are better than others, some representing more accurately the actual therapist-client relationship and some feeling completely unethical.
The miracle question is a fundamental technique used in Solution-Focused Therapy that allows clients to envision the life they want to live and consider alternate possibilities. In therapy, the metric of feeling better and making progress can be one that is challenging to assess. The miracle question helps us get a clearer vision of what this actually looks like, making it more manageable to work toward it. It allows us to better understand what we are working for.
Our senses play a pivotal role in how we form, store, and retrieve memories. This is because the brain areas responsible for processing sensory input are closely linked to the regions that store and retrieve memories. The hippocampus, which organizes and recalls memories, works together with the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain. They ensure that emotionally charged events are more vividly stored in memory. This link exists for both extraordinarily painful and joyful memories alike.
We were discussing a painful experience, and I was once again struck and inspired by their resilience. In this situation, I found a way to express this sentiment in the moment. However, there are many instances where sharing in the moment might not be the most therapeutic response. Even when I don’t vocalize it, I want my clients to know I carry these feelings and this care with me. Reflecting on this, I began to consider all the things I wish my clients knew about me, about the therapeutic relationship, and the process.
When we think of ADHD, the more recognized symptoms of inattentiveness and hyperactivity come to mind. While these are core aspects of the disorder, many other symptoms and traits can go unnoticed. These lesser-known manifestations can significantly impact those living with ADHD, yet they’re rarely recognized or discussed.
