When we talk about “trauma,” we’re talking about an emotional or psychological response to a distressing event or experience. It’s not necessarily the event itself that’s traumatic but rather the way it impacts a person’s sense of safety, stability, or identity. Trauma often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or disconnected from themselves or others.
I often use Gottman’s Sound Marital House as a framework to help couples build strong, healthy relationships. This theory breaks down into several key components that can enhance connection and resilience. One skill that stands out to me is Shared Fondness and Admiration, which involves openly expressing appreciation and respect for your partner (or friend).
The importance of validation is something I emphasize with couples as it creates a dynamic based on understanding rather than score-keeping or proving right and wrong. In an emotionally charged conversation, it's common for individuals to focus primarily on their own emotional experience instead of their partner’s. Rather than listening to what the other person is saying, we may be thinking about our own response.
A common struggle for many of my clients in their 20s is navigating friendships. This includes friendship conflicts, growing apart, reassessing the closeness of the friendship, and defining what types of friendships feel fulfilling in which ones feel draining. In these conversations, we explore the importance of flexibility in friendships and why it becomes so much more pertinent during this life stage.
I have thought through every situation from every possible angle my brain can come up with and analyzed so much of my life and experience that it often feels exhausting. This “self-awareness” can start to feel incredibly frustrating when I have some understanding, yet I still find myself in familiar patterns or generally not feeling better. If this description sounds familiar to you, you might be intellectualizing your feelings vs. actually feeling them.
When we think of ADHD, the more recognized symptoms of inattentiveness and hyperactivity come to mind. While these are core aspects of the disorder, many other symptoms and traits can go unnoticed. These lesser-known manifestations can significantly impact those living with ADHD, yet they’re rarely recognized or discussed.
Women with ADHD are often overlooked, misdiagnosed, or undiagnosed all together. After working with Kaitlin* over the past year, I have been able to witness the long-term effects of this oversight and the journey it can take to receive an accurate diagnosis. Kaitlin has lived the majority of her life with various mental health symptoms that never quite fit into any one diagnosis. She has spent years testing out various medications and treatment methods with only limited success. This year, at age 34, she received an ADHD diagnosis and finally felt everything click into place. As I celebrated this feeling of relief and progress with Kaitlin, I started thinking more seriously about why and how this diagnosis took so long to figure out. Looking at my own caseload, I realized that almost all of my female clients with ADHD or ADD were diagnosed later in life. This pattern within my client base is representative of the current statistics regarding ADHD: 50-75% of women with ADHD go completely undiagnosed. Using Kaitlin as my inspiration, I started learning more about what has been missing in ADHD research and diagnosis and what is finally improving now. Here’s what I’ve been learning:
