Whenever I hear “I Bet on Losing Dogs” by Mitski, my stomach lurches, and my heart races. This was the song I was listening to when I got in a traumatic car accident, an experience I am instantly transported to when I hear this song. I hadn’t listened to the song in years and happened upon it again recently. I was shocked and frustrated to learn that this association was much stronger than I expected, especially since this was so many years ago now. (I’m also frustrated because I love this song!) Sensory input, such as sounds, tastes, smells, and textures, can activate memories, a process that happens automatically and often unconsciously. As I’ve been helping clients prepare for the holiday season, a time of year when we tend to be inundated with sensory stimulation, understanding this link between our senses and our memory networks can help get us through these experiences with more awareness and support.
Our senses play a pivotal role in how we form, store, and retrieve memories. This is because the brain areas responsible for processing sensory input are closely linked to the regions that store and retrieve memories. The hippocampus, which organizes and recalls memories, works together with the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain. They ensure that emotionally charged events are more vividly stored in memory. This link exists for both extraordinarily painful and joyful memories alike.
For many of us, the holidays involve spending time in familiar places with familiar people. Walking into your childhood house, you might be hit with a whiff of familiar food cooking. For some, this may bring up memories of togetherness, connection, and celebration. For others, this may elicit feelings of fear, loneliness, or anger. Regardless of the amount of time passed, or the amount of processing done, we may still be deeply impacted by these memories and might notice extra activation during this time. Here are some tips to get through any unwanted sensory activation you might notice.
Create a safe “sensory toolbox” for yourself. We can use this same science to trigger calm, relaxing, and pleasant experiences, helping us feel more in control of our emotions and regulation. In mine, I have a lavender essential oil, a shell from my favorite beach in South Africa, a playlist ready with feel-good songs, and a nostalgic childhood sour candy. Take a moment to think about what sounds, smells, tastes, and visuals might be helpful for you to have handy, and prepare a sensory toolbox ahead of time.
Practice grounding exercises to help remind yourself that you are safe and grounded in the present moment rather than stuck in a past experience. Some examples include breathing exercises, walking meditations, feeling your feet planted firmly on the ground, and mental grounding exercises like going through a favorite recipe in your mind.
Give yourself permission to set boundaries and impose time limits. If you know a certain holiday, person, or place is especially triggering, check in with yourself and see if this is something you want to do. I know families may have certain expectations, especially around the holidays, but satisfying these expectations is not worth unnecessarily compromising your mental health. It’s also okay to leave early, take breaks, and adjust the situation to what feels best for you.
Integrate newness. Bring a new person with you to family events who can diversify the experience and serve as an ally for you. Identifying and including this safe person inherently makes it harder to fall into familiar dynamics. Share with them your needs and feelings and allow them to support you through this. Think about any new traditions, celebrations, and memories comprised of positive sensory stimulation you want to create this year and put effort into forming new associations.
Get support from a therapist! Use your time together to proactively make a plan including identifying triggers, learning coping skills, and reaching out to your support network. The therapists at Root to Rise are here to support you. Reach out to our client care coordinator today to learn who might be the best fit for your needs.
Best,
Jessica Leader LMFT
