Have you ever cried on your birthday? If so, you’re clearly not alone. So why is that? And why do so many of us have such complicated relationships with our birthdays? Some people thrive, dedicating an entire month to celebrations and gatherings. Others prefer to let the day pass by without acknowledgement.
One of the reasons why conflict becomes so dangerous and unruly in relationships is due to the heightened emotionality of each person and the natural defensive and retaliatory responses elicited. In other words, when we hurl our raw, level 10 emotions at another person during conflict, it will most likely be met by more heightened emotion, defensiveness, or even complete emotional withdrawal or shut down.
Somatic therapy is based on the understanding that emotions don’t just live in our minds—they show up in our bodies too. Talking about how we feel can bring clarity, but sometimes the body needs to release what it’s been holding. Somatic therapy gives space for that release, helping you connect mind and body in the healing process.
Do you sometimes feel like the choices you’ve made since starting therapy are a bit… extreme? Maybe you’ve learned to set boundaries, and now you’re saying “no” to everything. Or perhaps you’ve been encouraged to feel your emotions, and now it feels like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. This wobble is something I see often in therapy. It’s what I call “overcorrection”—and while it might feel uncomfortable, it’s actually a powerful sign of progress
In therapy, I frequently work with couples who have focused on togetherness and might have neglected separateness, or vice versa. We can spend so much time and energy strengthening our relationships that our own individuation can get neglected. Here’s some of what I’ve learned from working with couples
Somatic therapy is based on the understanding that emotions don’t just live in our minds—they show up in our bodies too. Talking about how we feel can bring clarity, but sometimes the body needs to release what it’s been holding. Somatic therapy gives space for that release, helping you connect mind and body in the healing process.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I understand why I feel like this, but I still feel stuck,” you’re not alone. Insight can be powerful because it helps us make connections and understand ourselves in new ways. But sometimes, no matter how much we talk through things, the same reactions keep coming up. This is usually a sign we’re dealing with something deeper, where EMDR can really help.
Do you ever find yourself reacting to certain situations in a way that feels overwhelming or outsized? Do you find yourself yearning for others to reassure you amidst this feeling or insist that someone else act in a particular way that will relieve your activated emotions? Do you ever get teary-eyed or tender when you think of yourself when you were a child, or see an adorable picture of you when you were a kid? If so, you may have just uncovered your wounded inner child.
Almost every client had questions and doubts about the EMDR experience beforehand. All questions are completely understandable, especially because there are some EMDR myths floating around the dialogue that can percolate and lead to a general sense of hesitation. Let’s break down together what EMDR is, and what EMDR isn’t.
Along with the obsessive mental replay comes a series of questions and confusion, with no satisfying answers. Questioning your own memory or perception: Was any of it real? Am I going crazy? Your own value: Was I not attractive enough? Desirable enough? Questioning the truth of who this person was the entire time, who now feels like a complete stranger. The compulsion to know everything: Who? What? Where? When? How? Is healing what I want? Is it even possible? What happens if I leave? What happens if I stay?
When it comes to healing from trauma, discomfort can sometimes be part of the process. In EMDR, it often means something meaningful is starting to move.
When people think of trauma therapy, they often assume that remembering the traumatic event is a necessary part of healing. But what if you don’t remember? Whether due to childhood amnesia, dissociation, or the brain’s natural defense mechanisms, many people struggle with unclear or missing memories of painful experiences. If this sounds familiar, you may wonder: Can EMDR Therapy still help?
Imagine your emotional state as existing within a window. When you're within this window, you can think clearly, make rational decisions, and feel in control of your emotions. This state allows you to handle daily stresses without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. It’s where we experience a balance between our sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) nervous systems. This is your window of tolerance.
While the holidays are filled with the warmth of loved ones around the table, laughter echoing through the house, and shared traditions, grief sees the empty chair, the unspoken name, the absence of familiar voices and touches. What should feel like togetherness instead brings a longing for what is no longer possible.
