One of the most common things I come across with couples when working through an argument is their dissatisfaction with not seeing “eye to eye”. And I get it, it would be SO much easier if we could solve our relationship problems by looking through the same lens or flat-out agreeing on everything. But the truth is, we don’t. And guess what? That’s ok!
Sometimes it’s difficult to know if therapy is the right choice for you at the stage of your life that you’re in. So, how do we make that decision?
Most people who overthink aren’t doing it because they enjoy worrying. They’re doing it because some part of them believes that if they think hard enough, long enough, or carefully enough, they can prevent pain, rejection, disappointment, or uncertainty.
The longer we go avoiding the obligation, the stronger the pressure becomes. The stronger the pressure, the further away we get from wanting to work on or accomplish the “should”. And in the space between “should” and “done”, anxiety covertly burrows under, expands, and fills the gap like a thick, nasty stink-bomb.
One of the most common things I come across with couples when working through an argument is their dissatisfaction with not seeing “eye to eye”. And I get it, it would be SO much easier if we could solve our relationship problems by looking through the same lens or flat-out agreeing on everything. But the truth is, we don’t. And guess what? That’s ok!
Sometimes it’s difficult to know if therapy is the right choice for you at the stage of your life that you’re in. So, how do we make that decision?
Many couples who work through their resistance to couples therapy ultimately find that the experience becomes a meaningful, weekly ritual of caring for their relationship.
In couples therapy, blame is rarely the whole story. More often, blame is what we reach for when something deeper feels too vulnerable, too uncertain, or too scary to say directly.
The dependency on love to ultimately feel good about ourselves today is sometimes known as codependency or love addiction, and has become normalized in our society, especially in context to monogamous romantic relationships.
To pause does not mean to avoid, withdraw, dismiss, or ignore your partner's feelings. In fact, it signals, “I care enough to truly listen to what you have to say, but my brain isn’t in the right place to do that right now”.
Many people expect that a steady, responsive, emotionally available partner will automatically feel calming. Instead, many people feel tense or suspicious when someone shows up in a genuinely healthy way. This isn’t a personality flaw, it’s a predictable attachment and nervous system response. So why is this?
My bag only gets stuck on the door handle when I’m having a bad day. Everyone is super annoying when I’m grumpy. My friend’s irritating boyfriend breathes too loudly. When I’m feeling happy it’s easier to find joy in the smaller everyday moments. Does my inner monologue resonate with you?
Emotional safety is the core foundation in relationships. It’s vital for building trust, vulnerability and intentional connection. This foundation allows you to show up authentically in your relationships, and it also allows you to do so without fear of being judged or rejected.
