In the therapy room, I am constantly monitoring when clients are within and outside of their window of tolerance. This concept was first introduced to me by my own therapist during a session where I reached a point in the conversation where I began shutting down. Gently, she shared with me that I might be outside of my window of tolerance and created the space for us to pause and not just push through the feeling. This permission and understanding have allowed me to better understand my own experiences and carry this lesson into my role as a therapist.
The concept of a “window of tolerance” was coined by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel and describes our optimal zone of arousal. Within this zone of arousal, we can function effectively and manage varying experiences and emotions. Our minds feel clear, we feel competent and capable, and we can process information and emotions. As you’re reading this, I want you to take a moment to think about how it feels when you’re within your window of tolerance. Some common signs and experiences when you’re in your optimal zone of arousal are:
· Feeling like you can process and understand your emotions
· Ability to think clearly
· Ability to navigate stressors without getting overwhelmed
· Ability to make decisions
· Feeling and staying connected to others
· Picking up on cues and stimuli in our environment
· Feeling grounded and safe
· Sense of confidence and competence
When we are outside of our window of tolerance, we experience hyperarousal and hypoarousal.
Hyperarousal happens when we are pushed above our window of tolerance and is often associated with the fight-or-flight response. We can become pushed outside of our window of tolerance for many reasons. Some include being activated by a traumatic memory, experiencing chronic stress, overwhelming life events, lifestyle changes such as sleep irregularity, substance use, and disassociation. When we are hyperaroused and have passed the upper limit of our window of tolerance, we tend to experience:
· Intense anxiety or panic
· Hypervigilance
· Nervous system on high alert
· Agitation and irritation
· Perception of threat
· Anger and lack of control
· Desire to fight or run away
· Tight muscles, rapid heartbeat
Hypoarousal happens when we are below our window of tolerance. This is often associated with the freeze response and can look and feel like shutting down. In therapy, this response is common when recounting overwhelming and traumatic past experiences. When we are entering into a state of hypoarousal, we tend to experience:
· Disassociation
· Difficulty concentrating or brain fog
· Fatigue and yawning
· Feelings of depression and hopelessness
· Numbness (both physical and emotional)
· Emptiness
· Feeling like you’re floating or untethered
· Blank facial expressions
· Body feeling limp
· Having a hard time speaking
· Feeling disconnected from others or ourselves
Understanding the signs of being outside our window of tolerance is necessary to help us enter back into our optimal zones. When we have experienced trauma or chronic stress, our window of tolerance can become narrow and we are easily sent outside of this optimal zone. These signs serve as a check engine light that we need to check back in with ourselves and find our way back to our window of tolerance. When we are in hyper or hypoarousal, we should make sure to not make any decisions as we are in a reactive rather than proactive state.
So how can we regulate our nervous system and get back to our window of tolerance?
Mindfulness and grounding techniques focused on breath or body awareness help us get back into our bodies and ground ourselves in the present moment. Focus on long, slow deep breaths.
Create a space of safety by repeating safe phrases and reminding yourself you are in a safe environment. This helps orient yourself to the present time and place. This could be a good time to utilize techniques that involve describing your surroundings using your senses or practicing a safe space visualization.
Use physical movement such as clenching and releasing parts of your body, changing locations, shaking out your body, or going for a walk when possible.
Process the experience by describing what you’re feeling, journaling, and communicating when possible. If it feels hard to communicate, just focus on your breath and release emotions through nonverbal communication.
Once you feel like you’re getting closer to your window of tolerance, this can be a good time to seek support either from a loved one or your therapist. Therapists can help you track the signs that indicate you might be exiting your window of tolerance and help you widen your window of tolerance altogether. In therapy, you will have a safe space to focus on expanding your window of tolerance and helping you re-regulate if you enter into hyperarousal or hypoarousal. The therapists at Root to Rise Therapy are here to support you through this process with compassion and understanding to help you build emotional resilience. Reach out to our client care coordinator to get set up with one of our wonderful therapists who can help you spend more time in your optimal zone of arousal!
Warmly,
Jessica Leader LMFT
