Too Old to Read This Blog? Think Again.
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with my friend Laura. To give some context, Laura is a vibrant, witty, and accomplished individual—an actress, writer, and cat-lover with an infectious enthusiasm for life. She embodies a perfect blend of playfulness and groundedness, always ready with a witty comeback and a sense of adventure.
At some point during our catch-up, I asked her about any creative pursuits that had been catching her attention. Her eyes lit up as she pulled out her phone to show me her recent obsession: watching videos of heels dancers online. Heels dancing is a style performed in high-heeled shoes, often featuring energetic choreography inspired by jazz or hip-hop. It’s expressive and bold, showcasing the dancer’s personality—think confidence, empowerment, sexiness, badassery, and self-assuredness.
Naturally, I responded: “YES! I can totally see you doing that! You should sign up for a class!”
Laura replied, “Maybe if I were your age. It’s too late for this old dog.”
For context, Laura is 37 years old. Too…late? Old…dog?
Sigh, enter ageism: the thief of longevity.
What Is Ageism, Anyway?
Ageism refers to the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel), and discrimination (how we act) against ourselves or others based on age. It can manifest in many forms. Here are some examples of ageist limiting beliefs:
“I’m too old to learn something new.”
“Older people aren’t tech-savvy enough to use modern technology.”
“I’m too young; I don’t have enough experience to succeed.”
“I’m too old to change my career path.”
“Young people are lazy and entitled.”
“I’m too young to make a difference.”
“Older people are set in their ways.”
As a therapist, I understand the importance of catching and changing our limiting beliefs: those nagging, unhelpful thoughts that tell us what we can’t do or who we can’t be. When it comes to ageism, these beliefs can be incredibly restrictive. For instance, they can prevent people from pursuing new hobbies, career changes, or educational goals. They can also devalue the contributions of individuals, lead them to doubt their abilities, and exclude them from opportunities they are perfectly capable of.
Examining Ageism in Society
Where did we learn that aging is something to be resisted rather than embraced? Society and media are saturated with ageist messages: older characters often appear in stereotypical roles like the out-of-touch grandparent, influencing how we perceive the value and capabilities of older individuals. Social media is dominated by influencers in their 20s and 30s, while older content creators are less visible. Advertisements for skincare, fitness, and health products prioritize youth and beauty, often featuring older individuals only in the context of fighting aging. These representations perpetuate the idea that aging is a problem to be solved rather than a natural, valuable part of life. Ironically, research shows that our population is older than ever before! We’re currently seeing a global demographic trend towards longer lifespans and healthier aging. Our adult population is older, more active, and more capable than ever, highlighting the importance of rethinking our attitudes toward aging.
But ageism isn't one-sided. Popular media and culture also perpetuate negative stereotypes about younger people. Millennials and Gen Z are often depicted as entitled, lazy, or overly reliant on technology. Movies and TV shows frequently cast younger characters as naive or clueless, while news headlines focus on how younger generations struggle with job stability or financial responsibility. These portrayals create an unfair narrative that younger people lack depth, capability, or resilience, overshadowing their strengths and contributions.
Shifting Our View on Aging
Here are some helpful reminders to shift away from the ageist narrative:
Growth is timeless: the brain is incredibly adaptable at any age. Learning and personal development can happen at any stage of life. Embrace the opportunity to grow and adapt as you move through your unique path.
Experience adds value: with age comes experience and wisdom; as we grow older, we gain a deeper well of knowledge and valuable experiences.
Industries are profiting off your insecurities: you don’t need to ‘reverse aging’ with that expensive anti-aging supplement; the pharmaceutical industry just wants your money. You don’t need to be wrinkle-free with that anti-wrinkle cream; the beauty industry just wants your money. You don’t need to wear certain clothes or conform to certain ideals to be attractive; the media and fashion industries just want your money. Understanding these motives can help you rethink what is really important to you, rather than be driven by the agendas of industries trying to profit off insecurities of aging.
Youthful energy is a strength: younger people bring fresh perspectives, enthusiasm, and innovation that can drive progress and creativity. Any individual has the potential to make meaningful contributions in this world, regardless of age.
Sexy doesn’t have an age limit: sexiness is about more than just youth; it's about how a person feels about themselves and how they present their authentic self to the world. Embrace your evolving sexuality and attractiveness, knowing that these qualities only deepen and become more compelling with time.
Stereotypes don’t define our capabilities: our abilities and talents are not fixed but can grow and change over time. People can develop new skills, adapt to new technologies, and achieve goals regardless of their age. Thinking about trying a dance class? Sign up! Start a new career path? Go for it!
Next time you find yourself or someone else slipping into ageist thinking, take a moment to pause, reflect, and challenge internalized ageism. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m too old for this,” or “I’m too young to be taken seriously,” try to reframe these thoughts. Remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities. If you need support with challenging limiting beliefs and want to begin embracing every stage of life with confidence, reach out to our client care coordinator today to find a therapist who can support you along the way.
Celebrating you today at any age,
Kalie Pham, AMFT
