When it comes to healing from trauma, discomfort can sometimes be part of the process. In EMDR, it often means something meaningful is starting to move.
Self-awareness in relationships allows us to take ownership of our experience - not just what happened, but how we’re interpreting it.
Most of us have heard of toxic positivity at some point; the pressure to stay upbeat and ignore difficult emotions, even if it's more honest to feel and express them. Of course, we would love to appear and feel positive all the time, but what really are the impacts of always putting on a smile?
When we hear the term self-care, we tend to think of a cozy night in: candles, a bath, maybe a favorite show. While this is absolutely a version of self-care, it’s not the entirety of it. Self-care might look different each day, and what feels supportive in one moment may not feel right in the next. Some days you need movement, connection, or fresh air. Other days you need silence, solitude, or just the reminder you’re allowed to pause.
When people think of trauma therapy, they often assume that remembering the traumatic event is a necessary part of healing. But what if you don’t remember? Whether due to childhood amnesia, dissociation, or the brain’s natural defense mechanisms, many people struggle with unclear or missing memories of painful experiences. If this sounds familiar, you may wonder: Can EMDR Therapy still help?
Most of us have heard of toxic positivity at some point; the pressure to stay upbeat and ignore difficult emotions, even if it's more honest to feel and express them. Of course, we would love to appear and feel positive all the time, but what really are the impacts of always putting on a smile?
Have you ever confided in someone about a vulnerable topic, only to be met with some variation of “Don’t be sad” or “It’ll be okay!” While well-intentioned, these responses can be more harmful than helpful.
A couple of weeks ago, I realized I was in a funk. I started sharing my experience with a friend after working up the courage to ask for support, who immediately launched into a very cheery explanation of everything that makes her feel better that ended with “You’ll feel better in no time!” After the conversation, I was left feeling withdrawn and confused. Why had this made me feel worse? The advice she gave me (journaling, positive affirmations, headspace shifting, and exercise) was exactly what I would and have recommended to clients and friends. On top of that, I know she was trying so hard to help me and I felt ungrateful. The problem was, I KNEW all of the advice she gave me already, but it’s really hard to “just shift your headspace” or “just think positively” when you’re struggling to get out of bed. Whether or not it was her intention, the subtext I heard was that the way I was feeling was a choice I was making and I should just snap out of it.
When I first heard the term “toxic positivity,” it felt like an oxymoron. How could positivity be toxic?
