shame

Holding Multiple Emotions at Once

Holding Multiple Emotions at Once

In the last six months, I have experienced both the most joyous and most painful moments of my life, often in the same week, day, or even hour. I have cried holding friends and then found myself doubling over with laughter within the same embrace. I have celebrated unions of love while mourning those who weren’t there to celebrate with me. I have intellectually understood the concept that we can hold multiple emotions at once, but this year taught me to truly notice and appreciate the way my heart has been able to stretch in new ways to hold these intense, often conflicting experiences. 

Self Compassion

Self Compassion

I went on my first silent meditation retreat about 10 years ago. Fairly new to meditating, I was nervous for many reasons, but my friend encouraged me to come along with her and I nervously accepted her challenge. I’m glad I did, because at this retreat I learned my first pivotal lesson on the importance of self-compassion.

When you get to the retreat center, the first thing you do is hand over your electronics like your phone, tablet, laptop, etc. This was *incredibly scary* for me. At the time, my dad was ill, and I made arrangements with my mom that she could call the retreat center if anything came up that I needed to know about. But the idea of disconnecting in this way made me feel like the ground was about to fall out from under me.