The relationship between you and your therapist is an extremely unique and special bond. Your therapist sees the most vulnerable parts of you. They hold you accountable to your goals while also being your biggest cheerleader. The relationship is built on an emotional bond of trust, care, and respect, and research actually shows that the strength of the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of successful treatment. The therapeutic process is the rapport-building stage, the processing stage, the stage of change and/or maintenance, and the termination stage.
The Vase
In my work as a therapist, I’ve noticed many clients experiencing a lack in their sense of self. Those who struggle with their sense of self tend to feel directionless, are overly self-critical, have low self-confidence and self-esteem, feel disconnected from their true identity, and prioritize others’ needs over their own. Though a lack of sense of self can manifest in different ways, the last piece of prioritizing others’ needs over their own is what ties all these clients’ experiences together. Almost all of my clients who struggle with their sense of self are people-pleasers.
Positive Affirmations
When thinking about positive affirmations, what comes to your mind? Do you cringe at the thought of standing in front of the mirror and complimenting yourself? Do you feel yourself saying, “I’ll never believe these statements.”
The Cognitive Triangle
There has been a lot of buzz around Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in the past several years, and many great self-help books and mental health apps have centered around the concepts of CBT. A key component of CBT is the Cognitive Triangle. This is the concept that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all work together to influence each other. By working to target any of the three points on the triangle, it will naturally impact the other two. In therapy, the most common means of doing this is by challenging irrational thoughts in order to change feelings and behaviors.
The Inner Critic
Do these sound familiar to you? When you hear these messages, whose voice do you hear? If you’re picturing yourself saying these things, you might be experiencing life with a pesky inner critic in your ear. You might be wondering where this inner critic came from, especially if you’ve never experienced a day in your life where you weren’t critical of yourself. So did this inner critic just show up one day? Well, no, not exactly. I want to emphasize that you are not born self-critical. This is a learned behavior shaped by childhood experiences and upbringing.
How to Choose A Therapy Style
If you have started researching therapists, you likely noticed the different therapy styles mentioned. The therapy style can be a valuable component in finding the right therapist for you. Each style varies based on how a therapist views change will occur in therapy. In this blog post, we will focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Humanistic, Post Modern (Narrative), and Psychodynamic.
Getting What You Want
People oftentimes feel that in order to maintain a healthy relationship, they can’t be assertive. This mindset can lead to feeling walked all over or taken advantage of, causing the relationship to feel one-sided. The good news is, this doesn’t have to be the case! Let’s talk about a behavioral strategy that will help you advocate for what you want in order to maintain healthy and mutually beneficial relationships.
Premarital Therapy
Sometimes people assume couples therapy is predominately for married couples or couples in crisis, however, couples also commonly come to our practice for premarital therapy. Premarital therapy can support you on the preventive side and set you up for a happier marriage. In our sessions, I hear couples share how grateful they are for going to premarital therapy because there are so many facets of their relationship that they didn't think to address until they started. In 10 sessions, we touch on the following 7 premarital topics.
Solving Relationship Issues
One key to resolving relationship issues is accepting innate personality differences between partners. No two people are exactly alike, and differences in personality, interests, and goals are natural and normal. Instead of trying to change your partner, choose to appreciate and accept their unique qualities. You may find that there are strengths in what you each contribute to the relationship due to your differences.