Atalie's Posts, Relationships & Communication
Becky White George
The Importance of Social Connection

In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, it can become easy to lose sight of one of the most fundamental aspects of our human nature—social connection. As social creatures, we are biologically wired to connect with one another, create strong bonds, and form lasting relationships.

The Importance of Social Connection
Jessica's Posts, Trauma and Mental Health
Becky White George
Sense Memories

Our senses play a pivotal role in how we form, store, and retrieve memories. This is because the brain areas responsible for processing sensory input are closely linked to the regions that store and retrieve memories. The hippocampus, which organizes and recalls memories, works together with the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain. They ensure that emotionally charged events are more vividly stored in memory. This link exists for both extraordinarily painful and joyful memories alike.

Sense Memories
Trauma and Mental Health, Helene's Posts
Becky White George
Identifying Trauma

When we talk about “trauma,” we’re talking about an emotional or psychological response to a distressing event or experience. It’s not necessarily the event itself that’s traumatic but rather the way it impacts a person’s sense of safety, stability, or identity. Trauma often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or disconnected from themselves or others.

Identifying Trauma
Relationships & Communication, Kalie's posts
Becky White George
Nurturing Friendships

I often use Gottman’s Sound Marital House as a framework to help couples build strong, healthy relationships. This theory breaks down into several key components that can enhance connection and resilience. One skill that stands out to me is Shared Fondness and Admiration, which involves openly expressing appreciation and respect for your partner (or friend).

Nurturing Friendships
Relationships & Communication, Sophia's Posts
Becky White George
Validation in Romantic Relationships

The importance of validation is something I emphasize with couples as it creates a dynamic based on understanding rather than score-keeping or proving right and wrong. In an emotionally charged conversation, it's common for individuals to focus primarily on their own emotional experience instead of their partner’s. Rather than listening to what the other person is saying, we may be thinking about our own response.

Validation in Romantic Relationships

Relationships & Communication

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Adult Friendships

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Adult Friendships

When we’re younger, we have the built-in structure of school to introduce us to other children and adolescents our age. And let’s face it, adults can be more judgmental and closed-off than most children. The fear of judgment or rejection stops so many of us from putting ourselves out there, thus watching friendships dwindle in adulthood is incredibly common. However, we still need friendships now as much as we did as children.

When I googled “adult friendships”, the three most searched questions that came up were “Is it normal to not have friends in adulthood?” “Is it harder to make friends as you age?” and “How do 25-year-olds make friends?” These questions are so frequently Googled and so infrequently asked IRL. So why are so many of us experiencing this trend, and what can we do?

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Couple's Conflict

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Couple's Conflict

It’s Never about the Tacos

We’ve all been there: those tiny trivial triggers that lead to big blow-up fights. Sitting across the table from each other with scattered taco fixings between you, wrist deep in guacamole, fighting about who left the spoon in the sour cream. Luckily, my husband and I were able to break down and process the The Great Taco Fight of 2022, and get to the core of what was going on. And you would never have guessed (or maybe you would): all the different ways we were triggered that had nothing to do with tacos (ex: I was hangry, he felt unappreciated, etc, etc.) The good news for all of us (myself included) is that couples therapy is a wonderful opportunity to explore these faster-than-the-speed-of-light escalations.

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Marriage Counseling

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Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling is needed when couples continue to run into the same distressing communication issues or the same problems over and over again, maybe with a slightly different disguise. Oftentimes, we make negative assumptions about the other person’s intentions. In counseling you’ll have an opportunity to practice healthy communication by learning new ways to express your feelings when you’re hurt, and start listening to understand your partner’s perspective. You do not need to have experienced extreme distress to seek marriage counseling. In fact, if you are reading this blog and are interested in improving communication and closeness in your relationship, couples counseling will likely be beneficial.

Marriage counseling can help with trust issues, infidelity, parenting issues, relationship ambivalence, codependency, intimacy issues, financial disagreements, and can also offer a safe space for premarital couples to work out some of these issues before they marry.

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Your Worst Enemy

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Your Worst Enemy

The “double-edged sword” is the concept that the same qualities and characteristics about your personality that make you kickass at work, can also hurt you in your personal life. The very thing that makes you so successful at work can also get the way in your intimate relationships.

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Boundaries

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Boundaries

As an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and someone who constantly seeks growth and understanding of the human condition, I find that breaking down boundary setting into three components is a useful way to guide clients through the process.

The three steps are: Identification, Assertion, and Enforcement.

Step 1– Identify Your Boundaries

How do you build a home without a blueprint? How do you know where to place the windows for others to look in through, or the doors to let them inside? How solid is the foundation and the support of the walls protecting you inside? In order to set boundaries, we need to know what our boundaries are! I like to break down boundaries into physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, time-related… the list can go on! Once I have identified the various levels of boundaries, I connect to my intuition and ask myself questions such as, “How would I like to feel in the presence of others?”, “What are my limits?”, “How do I want to be talked to?”, “How much of my time am I willing to give without sacrificing my own well-being?”, etc. Once I have clearly defined my personal boundaries, I have more clarity on how to communicate them to others.

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Estranged Parents

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Estranged Parents

If a friend came to you for advice about how to move forward in a relationship that was causing them continual distress and pain, what advice would you give them? If you’ve been in therapy before, you’d probably encourage them to start by communicating their feelings. If that doesn’t work, setting boundaries would most likely be the next course of action. If the boundaries were not respected and your friend continued to be hurt, you would start to hint at ending the relationship. This advice feels relatively straightforward in a romantic or companion relationship. But what happens if the relationship that is causing continual distress and pain is with a parent? Does the course of action change? This very question comes up in therapy sessions with adult children regularly, yet rarely without some sense of guilt or shame. In reality, around 27% of adults experience family estrangement that either they or another family member initiates (Karl Pillemer, Fault Lines). So much of the stigma surrounding family estrangement is based upon the assumption that our parents being in our lives is always the best option for our mental health. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you are an adult child struggling with having an estranged relationship with a parent, here are some important things to remember:

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Split Ambivalence

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Split Ambivalence

“Splitting the ambivalence” describes the phenomenon that occurs when two people become so polarized in their stances that they are unable to step out of their positions. This occurs in relationships of all forms, but for this conversation I’m going to focus on romantic relationships. As Esther Perel describes it, “people come in with a story that is either/or” and the story becomes ‘I want one thing and my partner wants the opposite’. When one person adamantly says they want one thing, and the other passionately says no, it feels like one partner has 0% doubt and the other is 100% doubtful. Rather than meeting in the middle, one partner takes on one half of the perspective, which polarizes and puts the other half on their partner. I know this can all be a bit confusing in generalities, so here’s an example of how it can play out in couples therapy.

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11 Tips for Online Dating

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11 Tips for Online Dating

From no-shows to no sparks, off-putting behaviors, ghosting and heartbreak, online dating can be a fraught experience. But you can use the tips below to make some thoughtful tweaks, and it can become a wonderful way to meet new people, and maybe even “The One!” As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have witnessed hundreds of clients explore online dating who have had experiences ranging from “this was the worst date of my life” all the way to “I’ve finally met my person.”

Not only am I privy to these tales of woe and love as a therapist, I also did quite a bit of online dating myself before I met my husband.

Over many years as a therapist, I have learned some excellent strategies for making dating online a safe, fun, and fruitful experience. Make sure to read through to the end for my most important tip of all!

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"Listen to me!"

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"Listen to me!"

How to get your honey to listen—and actually understand—what you are saying.

How many times have you had the feeling that even though your honey was listening to you, they weren’t actually hearing you? How would you like to learn the secret to effective communication so that you can feel both heard AND understood?

 

Start With You. Today.