You've probably heard of PTSD — It tends to be discussed in connection with a specific, overwhelming event, something clearly identifiable that the nervous system struggles to recover from. Complex PTSD (or C-PTSD) is chronic and talked about less often, even though it affects many people whose experiences don’t fit that single-event narrative.

When we experience disappointing responses to our efforts, it’s tempting to make that mean something about how unskilled we are, how incompetent we must be, or even how unlovable or undeserving of a person we feel we are. We tell ourselves a story that if we had just worked a little harder, or said the right thing, or “mastered” the extremely simple art of toasting toast, then we would receive a more favorable response and thus, feel better about ourselves.

We often hear the words “emotional regulation” and think it means: “be rational instead of emotional” or “maybe just don’t feel your emotions at all!” Maybe you’ve even heard that if you let yourself feel the emotions, then people will view you as “emotionally unstable”. If you’ve heard any of the above, it totally makes sense.

Everywhere we turn, there’s a gut-wrenching headline that grips us, a new app competing for our time, or a notification that demands immediate response. Quick PSA: if you are finding it difficult to focus, it's. not. your. fault. We live in a world designed to fragment our attention.

True reflection is gentle, curious, and grounded in self-compassion. It helps us move forward with intention rather than pressure. Here are some prompts I share with clients to reflect on the year that just passed