Fundamental Attribution Error

When I’m late to a meeting, it wasn’t intentional and there was a good reason for it. When someone else is late to a meeting, they’re disrespectful of my time. When I cut someone off in traffic, I was in a hurry to go somewhere important. When someone cuts me off, they’re a jerk. Do either of those examples sound familiar to you? If so, you, like me, might be experiencing a concept called “fundamental attribution error.” I started thinking about this concept when I was on the plane last weekend and was frustrated by other passengers rushing to get off the plane and cutting in front of the earlier rows. As I was seething in my disproportionate frustration, I started laughing thinking about how I had done the exact same thing on a flight last month, but it was okay because I was rushing to make a layover. Fundamental attribution error refers to the tendency people have to attribute another’s actions to their characteristics or personality and attribute their own behavior to external situational factors outside of their control.

Why does this matter?

This experience is not just contained to our interactions with strangers. This can manifest in our interpersonal relationships, often without even realizing. In therapy, I hear couples grappling with this cognitive bias all the time. One example that came up recently involved cleaning up around the house. *Mia was feeling frustrated by Logan’s “laziness” after leaving a dirty pan in the sink. When Logan pointed out that Mia had done the same thing the day prior, Mia responded that she was rushing to make a meeting on time and barely squeezing in lunch. It turns out Logan left the pan in the sink for the very same reason! Being able to frame this experience through the lens of fundamental attribution error allowed the resentment to fade away and allowed Mia to let go of the association forming that Logan was lazy. It also allowed us to all laugh together and speak about the situation with some levity!

What can we do about it?

Now that you recognize this behavior, I bet you’re going to start noticing it everywhere. Without the awareness of this tendency, it can become unconscious and automatic. This awareness makes it possible to notice when it is happening, pause, and decide if you’d like to reframe the thought or experience. The next steps might vary depending on the situation, so let’s look at some examples:

-Example 1: Someone cuts you off in traffic. You start to feel that familiar physiological reaction and become agitated. When this happens, start to integrate other perspectives. I can’t tell you unequivocally that they didn’t cut you off because they’re a jerk, but are there other possibilities? Maybe they didn’t see you. Maybe they’re late for an important appointment. Maybe their crying child is in the car and they need to get home. Instead of chalking it up to a character flaw, open up the possibility of situational factors. This practice makes it easier to let go of the emotion and not let the experience impact your mood and ruin your day.

-Example 2: You’re watching TV with your partner and they’re on their phone. You start to feel increasingly irritated that they’re not present and start to feel like they don’t respect your quality time together. You start to view them as uncaring or disrespectful. Instead of jumping to that assumption, try to fact-check! You can start from a place of curiosity rather than blame, allowing them to explain that they might have had an important work email that popped up that they had to respond to quickly and then would be able to be fully present. Even though that still may be minorly annoying, it’s vastly different than them not wanting to spend time with you. From there, try expressing how it feels for you in those moments so your partner can learn from the experience and communicate differently in the future.

Both examples involve giving others the benefit of the doubt. This does not mean that you discount your feelings or make excuses for actions that hurt. This only means that you gather more evidence and communicate before making an assumption that may negatively impact yourself, your relationship, and your overall mood.

If you’re noticing the fundamental attribution error coming up consistently in your relationship, it can be helpful to have an outside perspective from a therapist. A therapist can help create space for open communication and help you notice when this bias is coming up. Reach out to our client care coordinator to find out which one of the Root to Rise therapists would be a good fit for you!

Warmly,

Jessica Leader LMFT

*Names are made up to protect confidentiality