Parts of You: Internal Family Systems
“Part of me wants to change, but the other part of me doesn't."
Does this thought sound familiar to you? If you've ever found yourself caught in the tug-of-war between wanting to make a change in your life and feeling resistant to it, you're not alone. That inner conflict, that push and pull between different parts of ourselves, is something many of us experience. For this very reason, Dr. Richard Schwartz developed Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. This evidence-based approach to therapy has been popularized recently due to its success rate. This therapy modality holds the assumption that each individual has several subpersonalities or "parts,” each with its own unique characteristics, desires, and emotions.
These parts may represent different aspects of our personality that developed in response to life experiences, traumas, or conflicts. Some parts may be protective, while others may hold pain or fear. You might uncover a part that's always trying to protect you, like your own personal bodyguard. Or maybe there's a part that's still hurting from something in the past, carrying around some emotional baggage. Each one of us has a part referred to as the "Self" – our core, undamaged essence that holds qualities such as compassion, wisdom, and clarity. The overarching goal of IFS therapy is to connect with oneself and cultivate a harmonious relationship between the Self and other inner parts.
As the therapist in an IFS session, I act as a guide facilitating a dialogue between the client and their inner parts. Through introspection and guided visualization, clients are encouraged to identify and communicate with these inner parts, understand their roles, motivations, and underlying emotions. This process helps clients develop a greater sense of self and insight into their internal family system.
Think of your identity as a puzzle: The various parts of you, similar to puzzle pieces, represent different aspects of your personality and experiences. The core ‘Self’ serves as the central piece, anchoring the puzzle together and providing stability amidst the complexity of the internal landscape.
During a session when someone is exploring and understanding their parts, the therapist may use some of the following words that speak to the internal experience:
Parts: Internal entities with thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Self: Innate presence bringing balance and transformative qualities.
Protectors: Parts that aim to maintain functioning and suppress emotional pain.
Proactive protectors (Managers): Helpers who maintain stability and work to prevent exiled parts from experiencing overwhelming emotions. Managers are diligent, task-oriented, and determined as it relates to shielding us from intense feelings.
Reactive protectors (Firefighters): Firefighters become activated after managers are unsuccessful. This protector shares the same goal as Managers as they manage the exiled parts and alleviate emotional pain. However, they typically use extreme measures to cope with emotions, such as substance abuse, self-harm, or impulsive behavior. While managers are prepared to handle threats before they arrive, firefighters use drastic actions to distract from emotional distress once they arrive.
Exiles: Parts banished by protectors to avoid overwhelming emotional pain.
Retrieval: When an exiled part leaves the past and enters the present.
Blended (or undifferentiated): When one part merges with another part or with the Self.
Unburdening: Releasing painful emotions, sensations, and beliefs held by a part.
Direct Access: Communicating with parts directly when they won't unblend.
Do-Over: When an exiled part guides the Self back to a past event to change its outcome.
Over time, the ‘Self’ understands and accepts a part's experiences. By accessing the Self, clients can offer understanding, compassion, and healing to their wounded or conflicted parts.
Whether addressing issues such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship difficulties, understanding the dynamics of your internal family system is instrumental in self-exploration and healing. If this approach to therapy interests you, reach out to our Client Care Coordinator today to schedule a session with a Root to Rise Therapist!
