Taking A Break
I have always struggled with taking a break. Whether it’s scheduling an appointment midday, taking a self-care day, or going on vacation, I automatically experience guilt. However, as a therapist, I am constantly helping my clients carve out time for themselves on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. It feels so clear when speaking to others that we must all step away from our daily lives and take time to recharge. Yet it’s been so hard for me to take my advice and FULLY step away.
This year, as I began preparing for holiday travel, I found myself confronted with the same familiar feelings. “Do I really need to take that day off? Should I try to work a half-day instead? Have I worked hard enough to earn this?” As I was mulling over these reflexive thoughts, I started to explore where these messages come from. From childhood, I have been rewarded for being able to work hard, do well in school, and generally “achieve.” This messaging trickles down from every level, and societally we begin to link our self-worth to our productivity. What this has translated to in adulthood is a tangled association between my value and my output. It can start to feel like when I’m not working toward something or showing up for others, my value decreases. Since I’ve been able to notice this conflation, I’ve been able to better understand my inherent value that exists completely independently from work and productivity.
This year, I am vowing to take time off and not undermine my efforts by feeling guilty and not respecting my own boundaries. I have taken many vacations where I stayed half-connected or thought about work far more than I intended. This largely comes from a positive place- I am so lucky that I love my work, I love my clients, and I genuinely wonder how they are when I am not meeting with them. Then, the thought struck me, “what kind of message am I sending? That I’m not sure they’ll be okay for a week?” For the majority of clients, I feel confident in their ability to take the tools we’ve used in therapy and apply them on their own. The goal of therapy is to be able to move through the world with this sense of empowerment and self-sufficiency. In order to model this trust in my client’s progress, as well as modeling the importance in taking time for ourselves, I need to begin to integrate this practice into my own life.
If any of this has resonated with you so far, here are some tips to help overcome the guilt associated with taking time off:
· Reframing your mindset to understand that we NEED time off in order to recharge and not get burnt out.
· Plan ahead of time so you can set expectations with yourself and with anyone you work with.
· Clearly communicate your boundaries with others, and don’t break your own boundaries!
· Practice mindfulness so you can fully enjoy it and stay in the moment. It’s natural for your mind to wander back to your responsibilities and it takes time and effort to fully feel offline. Be patient with your wandering mind and keep bringing it back to the present moment.
· Explore your own internal messaging that leads you to feel guilty when you take time off. Where does this come from? Would you like it to change? Is there any resistance to letting go of this belief? How has it served you and how has it hindered you?
· Begin integrating the practice of taking a break on a more regular basis so it doesn’t feel like such a stark contrast when you disconnect.
This year, amidst the end-of-the-year craziness, try to challenge yourself to take a break guilt free. This break could range from taking a 30-minute walk midday to clear your head and disconnect to going on a trip and being fully out of office. If you also struggle with taking time off, therapy can serve as a space to process your guilt and associations and begin to take a much-deserved break. Reach out to our client care coordinator today to find out which Root to Rise therapist would be the best fit for your needs!
Warmly,
Jessica Leader LMFT