Connecting to Our Wise Mind
Have you ever been in a situation where you were struggling to “trust your gut”? Maybe your emotions were too powerful in that moment, and you had trouble listening to reason, or you tried to make a decision without the influence of emotion and, as a result, felt detached from your intuition. You can find yourself in these patterns when you’re struggling to balance your Emotional and Rational Minds.
Your mind views the world and operates from three states: the Rational Mind, the Emotional Mind, and the Wise Mind.
The Emotional Mind
When you’re in the Emotional Mind, you might find that your logical thinking becomes cloudy. Your thoughts are being controlled by your emotions, and your behaviors are being driven by your emotional state. It is difficult to remain objective in this state, and you might find yourself distorting or amplifying facts. You might also find yourself acting impulsively without considering the consequences. Being in the Emotional Mind isn’t always negative. When you experience and act on love, it comes from this part of your mind. Evolutionarily we acted from our Emotional Mind as a part of survival. However, neglecting to effectively manage your emotions in this state can lead to negative consequences and a lack of understanding and control of how you feel.
Examples of acting from the Emotional Mind
Fighting with your partner and purposely attempting to hurt their feelings.
Taking a trip out of impulse without planning.
Snapping at a salesperson or cashier for something outside of their control.
Purchasing something you cannot afford.
The Rational Mind
When you’re in the Rational Mind, you’re approaching a situation intellectually. You’re viewing the world logically and utilizing facts to make decisions. You might be planning ahead and weighing the cost and benefits of every part of a situation. In today’s world, we tend to place value on individuals that act from a place of reason rather than emotion. However, acting solely from the Rational Mind can cause you to feel detached from a situation, focusing only on facts and observable knowledge. When the Rational Mind is in control, others may describe you as “cold” and feel that they are struggling to make an emotional connection with you.
Examples of acting from the Rational Mind
Studying for an exam.
Planning for a trip or event several days in advance.
Asking about details and carefully budgeting before making a purchase.
Weighing the pros and cons before making a decision.
The Wise Mind
The Wise Mind is the ultimate balance and overlap between the Emotional Mind and the Rational Mind. When you’re acting from the Wise Mind, you’re able to recognize and respect the feelings of others while responding rationally. When in this state, you’re engaging with intuition and acting out of your best interest, even if it is not always what you want to do in that moment.
Like any new skill, it takes practice to operate from the Wise Mind. We are biologically wired to operate from a place of pure reason or pure emotion. There is a part of our brain that we share with most other animals called the “reptilian brain.” It is deep in the center of an area of the brain called the limbic system, which is the hub for survival-based emotions such as fear. As I mentioned earlier, the Emotional Mind was responsible for our survival. Fear was the driving force for telling us we needed to escape a life-or-death situation. It was not necessarily useful for us to act from a place of reason at that time. As humans evolved, we developed a unique area called the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for calculated reasoning and planning. Humans operated for quite a long time before the prefrontal cortex developed, and because of this, there are few connections between these two regions of the brain- meaning the Rational Mind, and Emotional Mind don’t talk to each other that much. The good news is by implementing certain behaviors and habits, we can build new connections between these parts and strengthen the lines of communication that already exist!
Is this the Wise Mind?
In order to strengthen these connections, it is important for you to understand and realize when you are experiencing the Wise Mind. When you find yourself experiencing even the slightest inclination that you are about to do something passive-aggressive or self-sabotaging, pause and ask yourself, “is this action/thought coming from the Wise Mind?” Allow the answer to arise naturally, don’t try to convince yourself. Everyone’s Wise Mind is different, but pay attention to sensations of completeness or goodness, feelings of “aha!” moments, and the ability to observe all your emotions without getting consumed by them. Likewise, it’s important to pay attention to when you’re in the Emotional Mind or Rational Mind. Are you finding yourself to be impulsive or reckless, or are your thoughts and behaviors on autopilot? Or maybe you’re finding that you’re making decisions based only on observable information and ignoring anything coming from internal states or not considered factual.
Training the Wise Mind
Breathing exercises can be extremely helpful when shifting your attention to and activating your wise mind. During these exercises, attempt to consciously control your attention as you focus on each breath. Allow yourself to notice and settle into the pauses between each breath cycle. Try engaging in a visualization exercise that can help you reach a place of calmness and wisdom.
Distract yourself. Distraction techniques, such as ACCEPTS, can help quiet your overwhelming emotions and help you get to a place to think more rationally.
Observe your thoughts and feelings without pushing them away. Try labeling your observations with emotions.
Describe what you’re observing without judgment. Don’t evaluate a situation as “good” or “bad.” Focus on the facts of the situation while paying attention to how you’re feeling in that moment.
Stay in the present. Fully experiencing what is happening now will allow you to fully understand your emotions and respond to them rationally.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to effectively manage your emotions and live in a more balanced state of mind, the therapist at Root to Rise are here to help! Contact our Client Care Coordinator to find out which therapist would be best suited for your needs!
Warmly,
Marissa, APCC
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