Women & Money
We often think of relationships in terms of connections with other people. But we actually have relationships with many different things. We have relationships with alcohol and other drugs, relationships with work, and relationships with money. It takes some introspection and self-awareness to cultivate healthy relationships with these elements, like money, and break painful patterns from our past. Our relationship with money is a powerful force. We hate it and we love it. We both let go of it and try to control it. And as women, we may even avoid it.
I spent a long time in an avoidant relationship with money. I wanted it but I thought it was bad to want it. I also hated it and resented people that had a lot of it. I didn’t want to want money and I convinced myself that I would discover a way to not care about it. I heard that money doesn’t create happiness, but that it does make life easier. I also saw examples of how not having money caused anxiety, stress, and fear. I received mixed messages about money growing up: there was plenty of it so spend freely and treat yourself, and also that there was never enough money and that money was scary and caused tension in marriage, with family and even friends. I also came to believe that for me, money would always be taken care of, as someone else’s burden. If I needed money, someone would give it to me. Someone would figure this all out for me (my future husband?) and it would be OK.
But then a Big Thing happened in my life and to my family. My dad was always the breadwinner in the family. The structure of the family system was that my dad handled the Big Money and my mom handled the day-to-day. It is so common in marriage that one person is the strategy thinker and one person handles the day-to-day. And quite often the day-to-day handler is the woman. My dad suffered a catastrophic surgery which paralyzed him and he became disabled. And my family was left to put together all the pieces. Growing up, I saw a division of responsibility when it came to money. My mom handled “paying the bills” and my dad handled the “bigger” money issues like paying the mortgage and putting money away for retirement.
But when my dad become incapacitated, the flaws in this arrangement became clear. My mom didn’t know about putting money away for retirement, or investing. She didn’t know how to file taxes or pay the IRS. She didn’t know the passwords to their online bank accounts, or about the bits of credit card debt that kept adding up following my dad’s incapacitation. I have the utmost respect for my parents. They were doing what they knew to do, and what so many of the couples that I see do: dividing the responsibilities when it came to household chores, each doing what they did best. But the unfortunate outcome of this arrangement is that when it comes to money, women are so often in the dark, educated and disempowered about finances. And my hope is to empower women to break this cycle.
Watching my family go through this transition, I decided that I would never be in the position that my mom found herself in. I learned about money and investing and personal finances. I started having regular meetings with my accountant, began reading intro to finance books and blogs like I Will Teach You To be Rich, and discovered podcasts like ProfitBoss Radio. I hired a Certified Financial Planner and a money coach, opened a ROTH IRA, identified short term savings goals and automated deposits into these accounts. I learned the concept of “paying yourself first” and started setting aside money for my future. I set financial and income goals for myself, and exceeded my own expectations of what I thought I could accomplish. My friends starting coming to me to talk about their finances, knowing that I was handling mine.
I am passionate about the topic of women and money. No more will we assume it’s taken care of for us. No longer will we shy away from investing and from thinking about retirement. No longer will we assume that we’re “bad at math” and therefore have no place or voice when it comes to money. I hope to empower women everywhere to take control of their money and their financial futures. I believe that both men and women, husbands and wives, same-sex partners, and married and unmarried couples should each be 100% responsible for their financial futures and knowing where their money stands.
How do we empower women everywhere to take control of their money AND their financial futures? We start talking about it. We get women together and educate and have conversations about money. We share knowledge and personal experiences and lift the cloak of shame and secrecy that surrounds the topic of money. This is why I have decided to team up with 3 other professional women, a Certified Financial Planner, an Estate Lawyer, a Family Law Attorney, and myself, and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, to create an intimate workshop, Women & Money, where we educate women, share information about our services and how they can benefit you, and share our own personal stories that led us to be passionate about empowering women with their money.
Join us on Thursday November 29th from 7-9 PM in Playa Vista, CA, in our Women & Money workshop to learn about how women can empower themselves with money, take control of their finances, and protect themselves from the common trap of letting someone else handle the money. This is the first in a series of workshops about money and the only one that is exclusively for women. We don’t know if we will be holding this workshop again, so don’t wait for the next one.
Do you want to take control of your finances? Do you want to educate yourself so that you will always be empowered with money? Join us. Let’s get to know eachother, let’s grow together. After our session, we encourage personal questions in the group Q & A and even provide an opportunity for individual 1:1 time with any of our presenters. Come prepared with personal questions and you can get them answered by local, knowledgeable professionals that are here to help you.
This is an awesome opportunity to meet local professionals and start the process of planning out your financial future and growing your knowledge about money. Women everywhere, it’s time to take control of your financial futures!
Contact me for more information or to sign-up. And if you’d like to hear from me and receive updates, new blog posts, and other freebies, subscribe below to join my mailing list.
Looking forward to seeing you on November 29th at 7 PM in the Playa Vista, CA for the Women and Money workshop!
