Shifting Your Attention Toward Valued Living
Why Is It So Hard to Focus on What Matters?
I’ve been thinking a lot about attention and how increasingly difficult it is to protect our focus. Everywhere we turn, there’s a gut-wrenching headline that grips us, a new app competing for our time, or a notification that demands immediate response. Quick PSA: if you are finding it difficult to focus, it's. not. your. fault. We live in a world designed to fragment our attention. That said, we haven't lost all control, people! If this resonates with you and you want to direct more of your time toward meaningful living, now may be a good moment to actively think about how you’re spending your time.
Why Do I Find Myself Doom-Scrolling Versus Focusing on What Matters?
If you’ve had the thought above, or some version of it, you’re definitely not alone. So many of us find ourselves on the battlefield of the attention economy. Additionally, if you are one of many people who struggle with ADHD, today’s world can pose even more challenges around structure and intentional focus. So, while we don’t have control over the next new thing that tries to grip us, we can practice new ways of building time and attention towards valued actions.
What Are “Valued Actions” and Why Do They Matter?
I often see clients struggle to identify what their values are when asked directly, which makes a ton of sense. Frankly, most of us don’t grow up talking about values, instead we’re pushed to think about lofty goals from an early age. Don't get me wrong, goals are certainly important, but values can be a great starting point when needing to get back in touch with what matters.
Values: think of this as the compass directing you towards what you care about (these rarely change)
Goals: think of this as a possible mini destination that your compass has guided you toward, or really just the achievable element of the chosen value (these change as circumstances change)
For example, if my value is connection, my goal may be to spend time with a loved one each Sunday. Still with me? Therapy can be a great place to think about meaning and actionable change, and values help set that frame!
How Do I Identify My Core Values?
One way to explore values is to find a list online and reflect on what draws you in. You can try bringing out a journal or piece of paper and exploring the questions below:
What are the top five to ten values that stand out to me?
Why do these values feel authentic to me, and what do they mean?
How much time/attention am I giving this value?
How much time/attention do I want to give?
What is one small step I could take to move closer to this value?
How Can I Start Living According to My Values?
Redirecting attention and living a more meaningful life takes effort, reflection, and it can be a daunting process to think through on your own. If you are struggling to figure out what matters, what to attend to, and how to make more authentic changes in your life, talking with a Root to Rise therapist may be a great start. Schedule a consultation call with our Client Coordinator today if you’re motivated to learn more about your values and goals.
Warmly,
Megan Smith, AMFT
