A Softer Start: How to Let go of New Year Pressure
What is the “January Pressure”?
So often we hear the phrase “new year, new you”. It creates this inevitable expectation that stepping into the new year should feel like a big change to ourselves, our goals, and/or our habits. For this reason, January is a month that can often hold so many mixed emotions: anxiety, guilt, pressure, shame, etc. We begin to feel more behind than inspired.
How to Reframe the New Year: From Reinvention to Continuation
What if the new year wasn’t just a reset, but also a continuation? What if you used this as an opportunity to strengthen or improve on habits you’ve already started through the previous year? There can be so much value and honesty in pausing to ask yourself what’s already been working, and continuing to build off that rather than starting fresh. When we start reframing our thoughts to fit this perspective, growth suddenly becomes more about continuation rather than reinvention.
Let’s Talk About it From the Perspective of Our Nervous System
For many, the holiday season can be a time of much looked forward to family time, and also a lot of movement and busyness. After the holidays, our nervous systems tend to be exhausted or dysregulated, which is why slowing down can actually create space for more sustainable change in the new year. When we demand change from a stressed nervous system, our body resists. But when we first allow ourselves to create safety, our body opens.
How to Reframe Our Way of Thinking
It’s so common to engage in all-or-nothing thinking patterns during this time of year - “I’ve already failed, so why try?” This mindset is so common and protective, but I wonder what it would feel like to adapt more flexible thinking patterns. There’s a large gap between ‘all in’ and ‘giving up’.
Here are a few suggestions as to how you can practice doing this:
Choose a team instead of specific goals (ex: rest, curiosity, consistency)
Make space for adjustment
Track what you're already doing right/notice the habits that have been working for you
Questions you can ask yourself to allow for a more gentle mindset include:
“What feels supportive right now?”
“What do I need more of, not less of?”
“What would ‘enough’ look like this month?”
Making these subtle shifts in your thinking can feel quite empowering, while also challenging. Our brains are used to thinking within the scope of high stakes and expectations due to the high-achieving, fast-paced world around us. With that being said, give yourself grace as you try to adapt to this new mentality – it’s quite a shift. If you’d like support stepping into this new season, one of our therapists at Root to Rise would love to provide that safe space for you. Reach out to our intake coordinator to get matched with one of our therapists today!
Warmly,
Monica Deyski, LMFT
