The importance of validation is something I emphasize with couples as it creates a dynamic based on understanding rather than score-keeping or proving right and wrong. In an emotionally charged conversation, it's common for individuals to focus primarily on their own emotional experience instead of their partner’s. Rather than listening to what the other person is saying, we may be thinking about our own response.
A common struggle for many of my clients in their 20s is navigating friendships. This includes friendship conflicts, growing apart, reassessing the closeness of the friendship, and defining what types of friendships feel fulfilling in which ones feel draining. In these conversations, we explore the importance of flexibility in friendships and why it becomes so much more pertinent during this life stage.
I have thought through every situation from every possible angle my brain can come up with and analyzed so much of my life and experience that it often feels exhausting. This “self-awareness” can start to feel incredibly frustrating when I have some understanding, yet I still find myself in familiar patterns or generally not feeling better. If this description sounds familiar to you, you might be intellectualizing your feelings vs. actually feeling them.
I recently stumbled upon the concept of animal chronotypes, which can be used to describe our personality traits based on our natural tendencies in social interactions and behavior. While these archetypes are often linked to sleep habits, they’re also super helpful for understanding how we connect with others. Each chronotype has its own unique traits and ways of navigating relationships.
We were discussing a painful experience, and I was once again struck and inspired by their resilience. In this situation, I found a way to express this sentiment in the moment. However, there are many instances where sharing in the moment might not be the most therapeutic response. Even when I don’t vocalize it, I want my clients to know I carry these feelings and this care with me. Reflecting on this, I began to consider all the things I wish my clients knew about me, about the therapeutic relationship, and the process.
The “double-edged sword” is the concept that the same qualities and characteristics about your personality that make you kickass at work, can also hurt you in your personal life. The very thing that makes you so successful at work can also get the way in your intimate relationships.
“While there can be no question that the last two years have harmed us, it’s also encouraged us to rethink how, where, and why we work.” - Rha Goddess
As Rha Goddess so aptly points out, the last two years have led many of us to question the hows, wheres, and whys of our work. I have seen clients leave their jobs to start new jobs, leave their jobs even when they don’t have new jobs, and leave their jobs because they have a bigger “why” that’s calling to them. A lot of times this bigger “why” is connected to a deep sense of purpose and calling, a desire to remove themselves from the traditional 9-5, and create a relationship with work that honors their values and energy cycles.
As a business owner I find it so exciting to work with clients who are exploring the idea of starting their own business. I have learned a lot over the years from my own experience as a business owner. I have put in time, energy, and resources towards learning how to run a business (and still have so much to learn). I have educated myself with books, professional coaches, masterminds, and courses to learn about business, money psychology, and leadership. Through my own experiences and a good lot of trial and error, I’m sharing with you my 10 fundamental tips for starting your own business, whether it’s a side hustle or your true calling.
Take a moment to consider something you spend money on, and what it brings into your life. Does that thing or experience fill you with joy? Does it make your life easier? Does it make you feel safer? Is it important to someone you love and you like to see them happy?
Now consider that the quality of our primary relationships with our loved ones is one of the key determinants of life satisfaction and happiness. Learning ways to communicate, set healthy boundaries, and identify and express vulnerable feelings is vital to the health of our long-term relationships. Your family of origin may not have modeled safety or the productive sharing of feelings. You may have learned that self-preservation meant taking care of others, but never learned to care for yourself. Or you may have learned that taking care of others is the only way to feel worthy of love.
Join us on Thursday November 29th from 7-9 PM in Playa Vista, CA, in our Women & Money workshop to learn about how women can empower themselves with money, take control of their finances, and protect themselves from the common trap of letting someone else handle the money. This is the first in a series of workshops about money and the only one that is exclusively for women. We don’t know if we will be holding this workshop again, so don’t wait for the next one.
Got Money Baggage? We all do. Welcome, friend.
I have a secret. My secret is a complicated one. It’s related to an issue that comes with so many confusing feelings and stories old and new. It has deep roots in culture, history, gender dynamics, and more. Years ago I would never have admitted to this secret because it may've meant being judged by others as superficial, shallow, greedy, and even evil. But, today I feel different. Today I can proudly admit to my evil secret. And it’s this:
