Trouble Sleeping? Try this.
My ultimate tip for insomnia and sleep trouble.
If you are anything like me, you might have experienced a lovely resurgence of some of your old school sleep issues over the last year. At the beginning of the pandemic, when the world shut down and I realized I never had to leave my house anymore, I slept really well. I am a long time-time insomniac, and I was used to an hour commute to work each way and sitting in my office for 10-12 hours every day, so the idea of just waking up and working from home felt too good to be true.
As the weeks and months ticked by however, the lack of divide between work and life became obvious. This was about the period of the pandemic when standing desks started to sell out on the internet and everyone began investing in their home office. The screen of my MacBook Air became the main divide between work and life.
As fears and anxiety related to COVID persisted, along with the stress and excitement of my growing business, and my grief and sadness about my father's ailing health (sadly, I said my final goodbye to him when he passed away in December), I found myself up in the night in familiar old ways that I hadn’t experienced so acutely for some time.
I have tried many interventions over the years, including Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, self-guided hypnosis, Yoga Nidra, the classic warm bath and a glass of milk, medications, sleep stories, body scans, and guided meditations, and I had varying degrees of success. I go through phases where sleep comes easily, and then I have episodes of insomnia that feel newly devastating each time.
Along my insomniac journey, I have discovered one single intervention that always does help me get to sleep. This is one that you may not expect. There are many approaches to treating insomnia out there but my discovery is about as simple as it gets. I have used this tool countless times, both in my pre-bedtime routine as well as during my middle of the night wake-ups, and it's the only one that consistently gets the job done. The best part about it is that it has no side effects, no lingering fatigue in the morning, no brain fog, and it's completely free!
The tool I’m talking about is called the Bedtime Braindump.
Here's how it works:
1. About 15 minutes before bedtime, take out a journal or piece of paper. If long-form writing is not for you, you *can* use your laptop, but I highly caution you to close out any messaging or email apps and notifications as those can be stressful and counter-productive to the winding down/going to sleep process.
2. Go to a quiet place with no distractions, or if that's not a thing in your life, put on your noise canceling headphones.*
*If your living situation has no quiet place, and you don’t own noise cancelling headphones, get some right now. I recommend the Apple AirPods for more of a practical, business-oriented experience, and the BOSE noise canceling headphones for more of a plush experience. There are plenty of cheaper options out there too.
3. Start writing down everything that you are thinking about. Things that happened in your day, things you have to do tomorrow, things that are worrying you. Write down your wins, gratitudes and appreciations. Write down your not-wins, failures even, and things you are stressed about or that require more of your thought and attention. Write down things that you hope to bring into your life, like people or money, and write down ideas about your vision for your future. Literally dump everything that’s in your brain onto the paper- whatever comes up.
4. It’s especially important (for me) to write down things I am worried about, because those are the things that wake me in the night. I actually write down : “Things I’m Worried About” and then just bullet point all my concerns. For some, this might stir up unnecessary worries, so you will have to explore this for yourself.
5. Another shortcut version is to create a “Bedtime Braindump” note in your phone (you can make it a locked note, if you are worried about someone finding it), and just quickly write out the bullet points of all the little things you are worried about/thinking about. In a pinch you can even do this from bed, with the lights out. I’m not encouraging this, but sometimes it's the only way to get it done, and getting it done is the goal here. Perfection is not the goal, getting it done is the goal.
Here’s an example of one of my “Bedtime Braindump: Things I’m Worried About” lists from November 2020. This is actually one I did from my phone in bed in my locked note. This is embarrassing to share, but I thought it would be helpful to you to see an actual example.
Bedtime Braindump
Things I’m worried about:
raising my rate and how my clients will feel
my dad, is he ok, when will I see him again
Our trip to Monterey- is it really wise or safe
What did D’s cryptic text tonight mean
Though, I had a big win today- moving sessions to free up my Thursday afternoon.
Need to hire assistant
My car registration tags
Am I using my time well
When will I ever write another blog post
In my therapy session today I talked about how difficult it is to find rest
Money fears
Figuring out my ideal calendar
Should I take on the new client?
Am I being helpful as a therapist?
Will I/can I reach my highest potential?
Is covid testing really so foolproof?
Now you might be wondering, Becky, what is the benefit of all this? Why would writing down everything I’m worried about right before bed help me? All I can speak to is how it helps me. Getting all this junk out of my head, the garbage thoughts as I lovingly refer to them, is the best way to give my brain permission to let go of ruminating about them. If I put them onto paper, I can always come back to them. Joan Dideon said “I don't know what I think until I write it down.” The simple act of writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you learn about yourself, and you might be surprised what you discover (and what you are able to let go of!). After all, our brains aren’t meant for storing things, they are meant for thinking things!
I may not always feel like putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard--let’s be honest :)), but whenever I do, I am reminded what an affirming experience it is to dump all that junk out of my head and onto paper. It’s such a relief to hand it over to the page, knowing that it will always be there if I need it, but there is no need to keep holding on to it.
This frees me up to really truly rest, knowing that anything I’m worried about is already written down, and I can come back to it in the morning, when it's time to worry, work, and act again. But bedtime is time for rest, not for worry or action.
So give it a try — if you find yourself having trouble with racing thoughts at bedtime or during the night, set aside 15 minutes before bed and do the Bedtime Braindump. See how you feel after a week. Notice if you are able to get to sleep or stay asleep better. Comment below to share your experience!
For other tips about surviving COVID, see my past posts chock-full of great resources to help you get through these difficult times. If you're feeling like therapy would be useful to you, please reach out to us anytime. You don't have to walk through this alone.
Lovingly,
Becky and the Root to Rise Team
