Choosing Your Preferred Individual Therapy Style
If you have started researching therapists, you likely noticed the different therapy styles mentioned. The therapy style can be a valuable component in finding the right therapist for you. Each style varies based on how a therapist views change will occur in therapy. In this blog post, we will focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Humanistic, Post Modern (Narrative), and Psychodynamic.
Let's talk about what it may sound like and feel like having sessions with therapists with these different styles. Try to visualize yourself sitting in an office or on your computer, meeting with a therapist, and see which approach connects with you the most.
CBT Therapist
The role of a CBT therapist is to be a co-teacher with you. A CBT therapist will educate you on how thoughts affect feelings, physical sensations, and reactions. They may utilize structured lesson plans with you to identify and help shift negative thoughts into more balanced thoughts. CBT therapists provide a tool kit to better cope with life challenges and help you connect to more joyful experiences. Just like in school, you may have homework between sessions. Here is a brief example:
Client: "I have been more irritable this week and don't know why. It seems to have come out of nowhere. I have been more snappy with my partner."
Therapist: "Remember the handout I shared with you on the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and reactions?”
Client: "Yes"
Therapist: "Ok, I will ask you questions from the handout to help you understand what negative thoughts contribute to your irritability. When did you first notice feeling irritable this week? What was happening before you noticed feeling irritated?"
Client: "I guess it started Friday evening. I finished a long workweek and had finished dinner, and then I wanted to chill out on the couch, but my partner asked if I could do the laundry. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I mustered up the energy and started doing the laundry even though it could have waited until the morning."
Therapist: "Do you recall what you felt when you mustered up the energy to do the laundry?"
Client: "I was pissed. I had told my partner that I had had a hectic week."
Therapist: "What judgments were you placing on your partner at that moment?"
Client: "That they didn't care about me."
Therapist: "Ok, you told yourself that they didn't care. And were there any negative thoughts that you were telling yourself?"
Client: "That I am such a pushover. Why couldn't I tell them that I would do it tomorrow? Or for them to do the laundry? I am such a pushover…."
The conversation continues into examining physical sensations and reactions and then further exploring the negative thoughts about their partner and themselves, and working on shifting the thought patterns. Then homework is assigned at the end to fill out a related worksheet the next time they notice feeling irritable.
Humanistic Therapist
The role of a Humanistic therapist is to relate to you in an empathetic, warm, and genuine way. They hold a loving space as you lead the way to healing, growth, and increased self-awareness. A Humanistic therapist supports you in developing self-acceptance and self-actualization. They share their feelings and reflections honestly and genuinely with you to help you grow. Humanistic therapists tend to focus more on the present moment as an opportunity for healing. Here is a brief example:
Client: "I have been more irritable this week and don't know why. It seems to have come out of nowhere. I have been more snappy with my partner."
Therapist: "That sounds difficult to be experiencing irritability throughout the week and being more disconnected and snappy at your partner. I imagine feeling this irritation and not knowing why is also confusing. What are you feeling and experiencing in your body as I reflect this to you?"
Client: "Yeah, it is tough. As you were talking, I felt this tight, suffocating feeling in my throat, and I felt sad."
Therapist: "What do you think this suffocating feeling and sadness is trying to tell you?"
Client: "I am just handling so much right now and feel alone. I do so much in my relationship and work so hard! It is so hard to ask for help; I feel suffocated.”
Therapist: “It does sound like you are handling so much right now. It amazes me how much you are doing and still showing up to therapy now on top of it!”
<Client becomes tearful.>
Client: “Yeah, you get it...”
The conversation continues as the therapist holds a loving nonjudgmental space and gently empathizes with you as you deepen into your felt experience and develop self-awareness and greater self-acceptance around what is underneath your irritability to then learn from it and move into a higher level of consciousness.
Post Modern (Narrative) Therapist
The role of a Narrative therapist is to co-author your new narrative. A Narrative therapist supports you in investigating the stories in your life and helps you create a more empowering story. This approach supports you in separating from your problems and taking ownership of your life by creating a healthier narrative of how to view your past story and how to live your life moving forward. Like any good writer and storyteller, Narrative therapists pay attention to how words are utilized. Here is a brief example:
Client: "I have been more irritable this week and don't know why. It seems to have come out of nowhere. I have been more snappy with my partner."
Therapist: "When did you notice irritability come into your life?"
Client: "Most recently, I noticed irritability on Friday evening, but it has frequently been in my life. It feels like it looms around me."
Therapist: "Ok, this irritability looms around you. Are there times when you notice irritability is not looming around you?"
Client: "Yes, when I am hiking and rock climbing with my closest friends. I feel very free, and irritability is never present in those moments..."
The conversation continues with the therapist separating you from the irritability and helping you rewrite your story to highlight your strengths and all of the ways that you live a fulfilling life where irritability does not show up.
Psychodynamic Therapist
The role of a Psychodynamic therapist is to focus on the relationship between you and the therapist as a reference point for how you relate to other relationships in your life. By identifying maladaptive behaviors in the therapeutic relationship and developing new behaviors, you can create other healthier relationships. Psychodynamic therapists focus on how relationships in the past can impact how you relate to a relationship in the present. By bringing forth subconscious patterns of behavior, you can start to recognize and move out of those patterns. Here is a brief example:
Client: "I have been more irritable this week and don't know why. It seems to have come out of nowhere. I have been more snappy with my partner."
Therapist: "Does this remind you of any relationship or experience from when you were younger?"
Client: "Actually, it reminds me of when I would get irritable at my mom as a teenager."
Therapist: "In what way?"
Client: "My mom would ask me to do all of these chores after I had gone to soccer practice. I would feel irritable, but I wouldn't tell her that. Instead, I would do the chores but tell her I didn't like something else she did - like what she made for dinner."
Therapist: "Does the snappiness with your mom remind you of how you were with your partner?"
Client: "Yeah, after I did the laundry on Friday, I went back to tell them that their dinner was too spicy and that they gave me a stomach ache..."
The conversation continues to bring to light subconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from earlier relationships that impact how you relate to your current connection. The therapist may bring up any similarities between how you relate to the therapist and in other relationships as a way to develop solid relationships.
As you read these examples, could you visualize yourself in the room and connect to one approach that particularly resonated with you? If not, I recommend going back and reading through the examples again and imagining yourself coming to therapy with this issue and what style would feel most supportive to you.
Therapists at our practice, including myself, integrate various approaches within their work. However, they may lean more heavily on one. If you are curious, look at our clinician bios to learn more about which approaches our therapists tend to focus on in sessions. Then when you set up your consult, you can share with our Client Care Coordinator the approach and therapist that most resonate with you!
Warmly,
Root to Rise Therapy
