The relationship between you and your therapist is an extremely unique and special bond. Your therapist sees the most vulnerable parts of you. They hold you accountable to your goals while also being your biggest cheerleader. The relationship is built on an emotional bond of trust, care, and respect, and research actually shows that the strength of the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of successful treatment. The therapeutic process is the rapport-building stage, the processing stage, the stage of change and/or maintenance, and the termination stage.
The Inner Critic
Do these sound familiar to you? When you hear these messages, whose voice do you hear? If you’re picturing yourself saying these things, you might be experiencing life with a pesky inner critic in your ear. You might be wondering where this inner critic came from, especially if you’ve never experienced a day in your life where you weren’t critical of yourself. So did this inner critic just show up one day? Well, no, not exactly. I want to emphasize that you are not born self-critical. This is a learned behavior shaped by childhood experiences and upbringing.
Doubling Up on Therapy
Some of the most common first-session questions I hear in couple therapy are, “How long is this going to take?” and “How can we make the most of our time together?” In typical therapist fashion, my answer is usually a variation of “It depends” and to answer the questions with more questions, but I do share my observations from past experiences.