Your Body Isn’t The Problem - Healing a Negative Body Image
Have you ever had a negative thought about your body or appearance? Thoughts like “I hate my body,” or “my arms are so fat,” or “my stomach looks disgusting,” or “I wish I could change the way I look.” If so, you’re not alone.
Many of us have complicated relationships with our bodies. For some, their body is a safe haven or a comfortable space where they are free to be and celebrate themselves. For others, the body is a source of disappointment, dissatisfaction, discomfort, and even self-hatred. These feelings are often a sign of negative body image.
Body image is defined as how we perceive our own body. But it’s not a mental picture that we draw in a vacuum. Our body image can be heavily impacted by many different external factors.
What Impacts Body Image?
Every day, we’re faced with thousands of images of what’s socially/culturally considered “beautiful” and “attractive”. Messages about what we’re supposed to look like are perpetually thrown at us from every angle:
Movies and television.
Commercials and advertisements.
Cultural standards.
Family and/or social expectations.
Even inanimate objects like Barbie Dolls or bean poles.
We’re told that we’re supposed to eat a certain way and exercise a specific amount to lose weight, wear makeup or dress in particular clothes to look attractive, even undergo surgery to change our bodies and faces. Then we’re shown before and after images to prove that we’re not worthy unless we change ourselves to fit the mold.
All day, every single day, we are bombarded with messages that we are not pretty enough, not muscular enough, not tall enough, not thin enough, not good enough. And that rhetoric can make feeling confident in the way we look almost impossible.
What Are the Unseen Consequences of Negative Body Image?
Negative thoughts and feelings about our body can have widespread effects in our lives. Our body image can affect our overall confidence. It can drive us away from meaningful connections with loved ones. It can make dating and intimacy feel dangerous, scary, and vulnerable. It can steal our focus and attention from the things that are important to us. And it can make activities like shopping, showering, getting dressed, attending social events, and many more feel terrifying and overwhelming.
Negative body image can also impact or exacerbate several mental health concerns. It can worsen symptoms of anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, and eating disorders, making these conditions feel harder to manage, treat, and overcome.
What Can Help Improve Body Image?
There are many strategies we can use to improve our relationship with our bodies. Some of the techniques I like to use in my own work are as follows:
Social media cleanse: Removing accounts that consistently make content about weight loss, beauty standards, or anything else that feels triggering can go a long way in helping us feel better about ourselves.
Practice gratitude: Thank your body for all that it does for you; thank your legs for allowing you to walk, your stomach for metabolizing food to keep you energized, your biceps for giving you the strength to hug your loved ones. Remind yourself of the ways your body serves you to counter negative thoughts about its appearance.
Shift your thoughts: When the negative thoughts are feeling really loud, try to counter them with something positive about yourself. For example, if you experience a thought that your thighs are too big, try shifting your focus to a thought about how proud you are of the way you went above and beyond for a close friend going through a hard time. Shifting your focus away from negative body noise to self-appreciation not only reinforces more adaptive self-talk, it also rewires your brain to spend less time thinking and valuing your body/appearance.
Mirror exposures: If you find yourself avoiding looking in the mirror or at your reflection, it may be time to practice mirror exposures. The goal with a mirror exposure is to set a timer for a limited amount of time, then look at your body in the mirror and practice saying neutral or positive affirmations about your body. If you notice a negative thought come up, gently redirect your thoughts or walk away from the mirror and try again later.
Caveat: This can be a really challenging and/or triggering experience. If this feels too difficult for you, disengage from the practice. Everyone’s journey with their body image is different, and you are always allowed to take things at your own pace.
Talk to a trusted loved one: Sharing how you’re feeling with someone you trust can be instrumental in processing the thoughts and feelings around body image. If you don’t have a trusted person in your life who you feel comfortable going to with this, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide you with invaluable support.
Negative body image is an incredibly challenging issue to manage and work through. These strategies are a few of many that can help us work against the negative thoughts and start to improve our relationship with our bodies. If you are struggling with negative thoughts and feelings about body weight, shape, or appearance and want additional support, schedule a consultation call with our Client Care Coordinator to start working with a therapist who can be a more compassionate mirror on your journey towards healing your relationship with your body.
