In movies and TV shows, we are exposed to fictional therapists who play a major or minor role in character development and plot. We have met therapists on the screen who are better than others, some representing more accurately the actual therapist-client relationship and some feeling completely unethical.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a term often tossed around casually. You’ve probably heard someone say, “I’m so OCD” about organizing their desk or arranging their bookshelf. But OCD is so much more than a preference for tidiness or a quirky habit. It’s a mental health condition that can feel overwhelming and exhausting, often making everyday life an uphill battle. Let’s take a closer look at what OCD really is and how it can show up in people’s lives.
Here’s the thing: too much screen time is draining our mental energy, increasing our stress, and keeping us from actually enjoying (real) life. As a therapist, I see the impact of this all the time—our devices are disconnecting us from what really matters: ourselves, our relationships, and our well-being. So, this New Year, I’m personally challenging YOU (and myself) to a 30-Day Digital Detox.
In my work with children and parent coaching, many of my client’s parents have asked me something along the lines of, “How can I best support my child when they’re feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated?” This question has come up more recently due to the busy season, so here are some effective strategies* to help your child–and yourself– navigate moments of dysregulation with care and connection.
Life presents us with challenges–that is inevitable. Over the course of my life, I have witnessed immense resilience in people from my culture which presents as strikingly superhuman at times. However, certain key components and practices build this resounding resilience over time.
*Sigh* “It is what it is.” Depending on who you ask, this can be such a polarizing statement. For some, that statement signals giving up. It feels as if you’re agreeing with the awful thing that happened and not putting up a fight to change it. For others, it might also be an expression of frustration, as well as a judgment-free acknowledgment of their inability to change the current reality. If you’ve ever used this statement, ask yourself, what allowed you to get there?
In an ideal world, the process of healing would only encompass feelings of euphoria and bliss as everything magically falls into place with the snap of your fingers. However, those of us who have gone through healing phases in our lives know that it never happens that way. There are many layers to healing that may involve unfamiliar emotions, discomfort, and a lot of turning inward.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were struggling to “trust your gut”? Maybe your emotions were too powerful in that moment, and you had trouble listening to reason, or you tried to make a decision without the influence of emotion and, as a result, felt detached from your intuition. You can find yourself in these patterns when you’re struggling to balance your Emotional and Rational Minds.
Your mind views the world and operates from three states: the Rational Mind, the Emotional Mind, and the Wise Mind.
Momentum is a spark of energy that, when ignited, allows us to take on creative projects, leadership roles, and novel experiences. Momentum helps us live beyond the mere existence of “the day-to-day grind.” Momentum is the driving force that allows us to become active participants in life.
Have you ever been so overcome by emotion that you cannot think straight? Maybe you get a distressing text from a friend or family member or see something upsetting on the news. You might start to panic and pace and feel that all you can focus on are these disturbing thoughts and overwhelming emotions. It is almost impossible to come to a productive resolution when we are in this state. The emotional part of your mind is so powerful that it is not making room for the rational part of your brain to provide any input. It might be helpful to distract yourself in these moments, and no, this doesn’t mean pushing your problems under the rug and avoiding these emotions forever.
What is Mindfulness?
Feel the ground underneath your feet and the seat beneath you. Notice the placement of your hands, lengthen your spine, tuck your chin slightly, soften your jaw and lips, and relax the space between your brows. Now start to focus on the rising and falling of your chest.
These are all cues I utilize when guiding a client through the beginning of a mindfulness practice in session.
Have you ever felt so anxious that you couldn’t “rationalize” your way out of it? Maybe you tried to challenge your thoughts, disidentify with them, or outright dismiss the validity of them… all to no avail?
While utilizing our prefrontal cortex’s astounding ability to reason and problem-solve is a crucial component in managing our response to stressors, we often ignore our physiology in the process!
With the “What are your New Year’s resolutions” questions just passed, I reflect on why I dislike setting resolutions and why I usually give up on them by February. I found a common theme: I set extremely vague goals for myself. Last year I wrote down, “I want to be healthier.” What does that even mean?! That could mean incorporating more exercise into my daily routine or adding more nutritious foods into my diet, or meditating more often, but I did not specify any of those things. Since my goals tend to be so vague, it’s hard for me to measure my progress or be consistent, which results in me giving up on them a few weeks later.
Simply put, it’s a way to understand which form of receiving love and appreciation from others sticks with you the most. The languages themselves are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. You may find that you resonate with all of these languages, but one specific language speaks to you the most and makes you feel truly loved and supported when put into action.
