How to Know if a Therapist is Right For You
Starting therapy can feel a little overwhelming—kind of like standing in front of a giant menu at a new restaurant, trying to figure out what to pick. How do you know what’s right for you? With so many therapists out there, it’s normal to wonder how to find someone you’ll feel comfortable with and who can truly help. Let’s break it down together and answer some of the big questions that might be swirling in your mind.
What Makes a Good Patient/Therapist Relationship?
The foundation of effective therapy is trust and connection. A good relationship with your therapist feels safe, supportive, and collaborative. You should feel that:
Your therapist listens without judgment.
They validate your feelings while gently challenging you to grow.
Their insights resonate with you and reflect your goals.
Therapy is also a partnership. You bring your experiences and needs, and your therapist brings tools, understanding, and a tailored approach to help you navigate life’s challenges. While every therapist has their own style, what matters most is that you feel heard, respected, and understood.
Do Demographics Matter?
This is a personal choice. For some, shared demographics—like race, gender, age, or cultural background—can help create a deeper sense of understanding. For others, these factors may not matter as much as the therapist’s expertise or approach.
For example, if you’re working through something tied to your identity, such as racial trauma or gender identity, you may feel more comfortable with someone who has lived experience or specific training in these areas.
However, even if a therapist doesn’t share your background, many are trained to work from a culturally responsive, inclusive perspective. It’s worth asking about their experience with your particular concerns during an initial consultation.
Do I Need to Have a Session Before Deciding?
While reading a therapist’s profile or website is helpful, nothing beats a real conversation. Many therapists offer free consultations—this is your chance to ask questions and get a feel for their personality and approach.
Here’s what to notice during that first interaction:
Do they explain their methods in a way you understand?
Do you feel comfortable talking with them?
Do they seem engaged and curious about your needs?
It’s okay to trust your gut! Therapy is a vulnerable process, so it’s important to work with someone who puts you at ease.
Remember, It’s Okay to Switch
Even after starting therapy, you might realize the fit isn’t quite right—and that’s okay! Finding the right therapist is like finding the right pair of shoes: sometimes, you have to try a few before you find the perfect fit.
Ultimately, the goal is to feel supported, safe, and aligned in your therapy journey. Whether it’s the first or fifth therapist you meet, the right one will make you feel like they’re in your corner, cheering you on and guiding you toward the growth you deserve.
Reach out to our client care coordinator today to find a therapist who can be the right fit for you.
Happy healing! 🌱
Helene Bringsli, AMFT
