Jessica's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Opposite Action

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the very thing you want to do the least is what would help you the most? When all you want to do is isolate, but the most beneficial step would be to pick up the phone and call a friend? When all you want to do is close the blinds and lay in bed, but you’d really feel better by getting outside? The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skill of opposite action can be helpful when we notice this behavior coming up!

Opposite Action
Atalie's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Nature Metaphors: Therapeutic Tools

Metaphors have a powerful ability to illustrate abstract ideas. I absolutely love using metaphors with clients to discuss more complex human experiences in order to add a visual and contextual layer from which to understand these experiences, most often being our relationship to our thoughts and emotions. Unsurprisingly, many of the metaphors I use relate to nature, which I view as the ultimate teacher.

Nature Metaphors: Therapeutic Tools
Relationships & Communication, Kalie's posts
Becky White George
Differences In Sexual Desire

Instead of solely focusing on initiating sex, prioritize building emotional intimacy through positive interactions, including non-sexual affection. By allowing sexual arousal to naturally emerge from the playful, fun experiences that you’re both enjoying - laughing, talking, hugging, kissing, flirting - you can build a more satisfying bond without the agenda of having sex. In the midst of hanging out and having fun, your responsive desire partner may start to get aroused.

Differences In Sexual Desire
Self Care & Mindfulness, Sophia's Posts
Becky White George
Craving Dopamine

Dopamine, often referred to as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, plays a pivotal role in our brain's reward system. It's the chemical messenger responsible for feelings of pleasure, motivation, and reinforcement. And in today's fast-paced world, where stress seems to lurk around every corner, it's no wonder we often find ourselves seeking out dopamine in various forms.

Craving Dopamine
Relationships & Communication, Jessica's Posts
Becky White George
The Rupture-Repair Cycle

The “rupture-repair cycle” is a crucial part of any relationship. As much as we don’t mean to, we sometimes hurt and let down the people we care about. There is some inevitability to this (though we should try to minimize it as much as possible!) but the repair after a rupture creates an opportunity for growth and reconnection.

The Rupture-Repair Cycle

family therapy

Family Triangles

Family Triangles

Within each family unit, there are several subsystems. Subsystems can be thought of as allied relationships between two identified people within the family system, for example, parents are one subsystem, siblings are another, etc. Unlike subsystems, family triangles consist of three members. When triangles start to emerge, they can disrupt the functioning of the family system as a whole. If two family members are experiencing extreme tension in their relationship, similar to the example above, they might consciously or unconsciously look to bring in a third member to transfer that tension.

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Estranged Parents

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Estranged Parents

If a friend came to you for advice about how to move forward in a relationship that was causing them continual distress and pain, what advice would you give them? If you’ve been in therapy before, you’d probably encourage them to start by communicating their feelings. If that doesn’t work, setting boundaries would most likely be the next course of action. If the boundaries were not respected and your friend continued to be hurt, you would start to hint at ending the relationship. This advice feels relatively straightforward in a romantic or companion relationship. But what happens if the relationship that is causing continual distress and pain is with a parent? Does the course of action change? This very question comes up in therapy sessions with adult children regularly, yet rarely without some sense of guilt or shame. In reality, around 27% of adults experience family estrangement that either they or another family member initiates (Karl Pillemer, Fault Lines). So much of the stigma surrounding family estrangement is based upon the assumption that our parents being in our lives is always the best option for our mental health. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you are an adult child struggling with having an estranged relationship with a parent, here are some important things to remember:

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"Listen to me!"

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"Listen to me!"

How to get your honey to listen—and actually understand—what you are saying.

How many times have you had the feeling that even though your honey was listening to you, they weren’t actually hearing you? How would you like to learn the secret to effective communication so that you can feel both heard AND understood?

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Starting Therapy

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Starting Therapy

11 signs it’s time to start therapy

Claudia* was 23 and had her first post-college boyfriend. She felt the pressures of that bizarre, early 20-something time, when she no longer had the structure and clear purpose of college guiding her actions. She had her first full-time job and first full-time live-in boyfriend. And she found herself getting upset about, well, everything. Everything he did made her mad. It was like they were in a constant fight. She felt sad and angry all the time and could not figure out where this was coming from. She always had positive, close relationships with her girlfriends and from what she could tell, a happy healthy upbringing and family. So why did she feel like such a mess in her relationship?

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Communication in Relationships

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Communication in Relationships

What is healthy communication? How do I know if my partner and I are communicating effectively?

While many of us consider ourselves to be “good listeners”, the truth is that many of us do not really listen.  The skill of Active Listening can move you and your beloved lightyears forward in your ability to communicate effectively with one another.  This series of entries will introduce various tips to improve active listening skills in your relationship.

 

Start With You. Today.