emotion regulation

I'm FINE

I'm FINE

It’s 7 PM on a Tuesday and your partner asks, “How are you? How was your day?” You stop to consider how to answer the question. You do a quick scan of your body and try to remember the day. Your neck is hurting from sitting at the computer, thoughts swirling in your head about that salty interaction you and your partner had that morning that went unaddressed, you just got a panicked text from your mother who needs you to call her immediately, you are annoyed with yourself for eating the peanut m & m’s when you said you wouldn’t, and to boot, you were up half the night stressing about a work project, so you were completely exhausted the entire day.

So, when your partner asks “How are you?” all you are able to muster up is the answer “I’m fine. It was fine.”

I’ve heard a few acronyms to describe the word FINE. F=Fucked Up, I= Insecure, N=Neurotic, and E=Emotional.

I also heard that FINE stands for Feelings Inside Not Expressed- a slightly more compassionate description. In my example above, from the neck pain to the disappointment in myself for eating the M & Ms, to the salty interaction from the morning, there were many feelings happening that were not being said.

Mindfulness 101

Mindfulness 101

Developing a mindfulness practice can feel impossible when operating in a society that determines our identities through how much we do rather than emphasizes the experience to simply be, but there are many ways to integrate mindfulness practices into your daily life, even amongst the never-ending demands.


Mindfulness techniques come in two forms: formal and informal.

Formal mindfulness techniques are those that are practiced in a specific setting with a distinct intention and method, such as meditation. Informal mindfulness techniques can be accessed at any point throughout your day, such as focusing on flavors as you eat or observing the breath as you drive.

Whether you have time to integrate formal mindfulness techniques into your daily regimen or just want to dip your toes into informal practices, here are some techniques you can start exploring today! I encourage you to experiment with different approaches, and to pick and choose the ones that interest you most as you begin your journey!

Mental Health Support

Mental Health Support

As someone with limited athletic ability and no cable subscription, sports, in particular tennis and gymnastics, have never been a big part of my life. This year, however, Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles changed that. Their bravery in bringing mental health into the dialogue highlighted the incongruence between how we may assume someone is feeling and their internal world. This year, I cared about sports.

Starting Therapy

Starting Therapy

11 signs it’s time to start therapy

Claudia* was 23 and had her first post-college boyfriend. She felt the pressures of that bizarre, early 20-something time, when she no longer had the structure and clear purpose of college guiding her actions. She had her first full-time job and first full-time live-in boyfriend. And she found herself getting upset about, well, everything. Everything he did made her mad. It was like they were in a constant fight. She felt sad and angry all the time and could not figure out where this was coming from. She always had positive, close relationships with her girlfriends and from what she could tell, a happy healthy upbringing and family. So why did she feel like such a mess in her relationship?