The importance of validation is something I emphasize with couples as it creates a dynamic based on understanding rather than score-keeping or proving right and wrong. In an emotionally charged conversation, it's common for individuals to focus primarily on their own emotional experience instead of their partner’s. Rather than listening to what the other person is saying, we may be thinking about our own response.
A common struggle for many of my clients in their 20s is navigating friendships. This includes friendship conflicts, growing apart, reassessing the closeness of the friendship, and defining what types of friendships feel fulfilling in which ones feel draining. In these conversations, we explore the importance of flexibility in friendships and why it becomes so much more pertinent during this life stage.
I have thought through every situation from every possible angle my brain can come up with and analyzed so much of my life and experience that it often feels exhausting. This “self-awareness” can start to feel incredibly frustrating when I have some understanding, yet I still find myself in familiar patterns or generally not feeling better. If this description sounds familiar to you, you might be intellectualizing your feelings vs. actually feeling them.
I recently stumbled upon the concept of animal chronotypes, which can be used to describe our personality traits based on our natural tendencies in social interactions and behavior. While these archetypes are often linked to sleep habits, they’re also super helpful for understanding how we connect with others. Each chronotype has its own unique traits and ways of navigating relationships.
We were discussing a painful experience, and I was once again struck and inspired by their resilience. In this situation, I found a way to express this sentiment in the moment. However, there are many instances where sharing in the moment might not be the most therapeutic response. Even when I don’t vocalize it, I want my clients to know I carry these feelings and this care with me. Reflecting on this, I began to consider all the things I wish my clients knew about me, about the therapeutic relationship, and the process.
Clients often ask what self-care and mindfulness activities I recommend or find the most helpful. Since each person is different, their body and needs for self-care will be unique to them and my answer depends on the symptoms that the client experiences. Breathwork, meditation, movement, and positive self-talk are a few self-care practices that I often recommend or incorporate into sessions; all of which are informed by my own yoga practice and training.
Developing a mindfulness practice can feel impossible when operating in a society that determines our identities through how much we do rather than emphasizes the experience to simply be, but there are many ways to integrate mindfulness practices into your daily life, even amongst the never-ending demands.
Mindfulness techniques come in two forms: formal and informal.
Formal mindfulness techniques are those that are practiced in a specific setting with a distinct intention and method, such as meditation. Informal mindfulness techniques can be accessed at any point throughout your day, such as focusing on flavors as you eat or observing the breath as you drive.
Whether you have time to integrate formal mindfulness techniques into your daily regimen or just want to dip your toes into informal practices, here are some techniques you can start exploring today! I encourage you to experiment with different approaches, and to pick and choose the ones that interest you most as you begin your journey!
…..At least, this is how mornings felt for me for a long time. The harshness of your morning can set you up for the rest of your day to be difficult. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed gets you started in a place of stress, and you are bound to feel irritable, tense and unfocused as you move through your day.
So what's the antidote to entering your day in battle mode? When I started learning more about the concept of a morning routine, my relationship to mornings changed. Mornings became a time for moving slowly, self-reflection, centering, and getting grounded. When you take a few minutes to set yourself up for a morning routine, it can influence the entire rest of your day in a positive way. When you enter your day feeling spacious, grounded, and in touch with yourself, you can move through the day with a whole new energy of patience, compassion, focus, and creativity.
Read on for tips on making Virtual Therapy work, additional resources, and whats coming up in therapy right now.
I am so privileged to have a window into the lives of my clients during the pandemic, to get firsthand accounts of how people are affected by COVID-19, how they are coping, what’s been helpful for them, and see the world through their eyes, with new perspectives.
Virtual Therapy + Flexible Schedule + Resources That Are Helping Me Right Now
I am committed to supporting you and continuing to provide access to mental health services, which I believe are essential at this critical and scary time. I am offering virtual therapy—both video and phone sessions— so that I can continue to provide mental health care to individuals and couples seeking to release painful patterns from their past.
Are you dealing with chronic pain and seeking out ways to manage it without opiates and other pain meds? A recent study came out confirming that Opiod medication is not useful for chronic back or joint pain. In my years as a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, I have encountered many clients dealing with chronic pain issues. Read more to learn about opiate-free methods of treating chronic pain.
The change of season from Summer to Fall is one of my favorites. In the summertime, I come out to play. More hours of sunshine and longer days means my night owl, which is usually asleep, wakes up for a few warm months and wants to play in the sand, have margaritas at sunset, and dance under the moonlight.
As we move towards the fall, the days get shorter, there are less hours of sunlight, and more hours of moonlight. As it becomes lighter earlier, I find myself turning inwards. I want to get in bed at 9:30 and read Brene Brown. I want to light palo santo and journal each morning with a cup of hot lemon water. I come back to my meditation practice, left behind in the warm playful summer months. I sit in silence and watch my own thoughts. I slow down as I am tasked with creating light from within. I prepare warm nourishing foods for myself at home, and come back to my yoga practice.
