The Challenges (and Strengths) of Long-Distance Relationships – and How to Make Them Last
In this current digital and mobile era, regular access to people across the world is commonplace in our fast paced, expansive, and wide-reaching reality. Whether hopping on a video conference call with work partners in Beijing, Facetiming Nona in Roma, or DMing your short-lived crush from your White Lotus-esque vacation in Phuket, long distance relationships have never been more accessible–hence, the rise of romantic long distance relationships.
When previously romantic long distance relationships depended on idealization, pining, and pen-pal style correspondences, these days, LDRs contain as many emotional, logistical, and relational challenges as more geographically convenient connections, compounded by the added variable of physical distance. Because of this growing access to romantic partners across the world, long distance relationship advice, support, and communication tips for couples navigating love across the globe have never been more needed.
There are many common challenges in long distance relationships. Limited physical closeness often impacts a long distance relationship, where physical absence can cause rifts in the momentum of bonding or building intimacy for couples across the world. Strain on communication can also occur, where misunderstandings happen often via text, or calls may be missed due to time differences or inconsistent schedules. Emotional disconnection or insecurities may arise, usually surrounding fears of growing apart or jealousy. And differing expectations may present challenges, where one partner might expect frequent contact or check-ins while the other might desire more freedom.
This said, while there are common struggles in long distance relationships, there are also hidden strengths that come with a romantic connection that expands over miles, cultures, and time zones. Firstly, because of the distance, communication often becomes more intentional. Long distance couples may find themselves talking more deeply and regularly to bridge the geographical separation and to feel more connected. At the same time, long distance relationships intrinsically promote more autonomy and independence for each person within the couple, allowing each member to focus on personal goals, growth and identity while still maintaining their long distance connection. Additionally, due to the logistical hurdles navigated within a long distance relationship, couples must often stretch and strengthen their mutual trust, commitment, and emotional investment within the relationship to maintain connection and intimacy apart.
One of the ways a couple can strengthen their long distance relationship is by employing some of these helpful communication tips:
Schedule regular check-in times.
Being able to rely on a standing appointment to talk and check in with your partner over distance is a great way to maintain connection and manage expectations.
Communicate through multiple formats and platforms.
Texting, calling, video conferencing, voice notes, or DMing memes are all effective and different ways to engage bids for connection within the partnership. Using multiple communication formats conveys the message that the relationship is top of mind and is being prioritized throughout the day or week, even through small moments of contact.
Name and express emotions clearly to avoid assumption-based conflict:
Using “I” statements and giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is always a great place to start when communicating over conflict, especially while trying to make a long distance relationship work.
Keep communication responsive, not just frequent.
Make a promise to one another that messages will be returned and responded to, even if the communication is that you will have to respond later. This builds trust and reliance for the partnership, especially when couples are apart.
Another way couples can strengthen their long distance relationship is by building and maintaining intimacy apart by trying some of the ideas below:
Come up with creative date ideas!
Plan a virtual dinner date, stream a movie together, create slideshows on Canva to share a part of your life with your partner, or ask each other the 36 Questions to Fall in Love
Send love letters, sexts, and share emotional vulnerability.
Words of affirmation go a long distance (pun intended) in long distance relationships. Open up and get vulnerable and share your feelings about your partner with them in creative ways like writing a poem or creating a shared playlist to listen to when pining for one another.
Dreaming and planning a future together.
Sharing your hopes and dreams for the future builds trust, dependence, and defines your shared values as a couple which strengthens the bond and the devotion in a long distance partnership.
Establish shared rituals like sending morning texts or sharing a daily photo that encapsulates your day.
Engaging in shared rituals builds intimacy apart, creating more reliance and connection across miles by establishing a unique, mutual language and culture inside the long distance relationship.
Additionally, long distance couples may want to seek further support to help reinforce their partnership across the world:
Engaging in couples therapy.
Virtual sessions with a couples therapist would not only help explore relational dynamics but also would create time and space for togetherness despite the distance.
When to seek support?
When resentment is building, communication seems misaligned, or when goals seem to be at odds in a long distance relationship, it may be helpful to consider couples therapy. However, couples therapy can also be effective even when things seem to be going well, as it becomes a safe forum to discuss anything related to the partnership.
Remembering that seeking support is not an indication of failure but rather a sign that both partners want to maintain and prioritize the long distance relationship.
In short, while long distance relationships are difficult, they can also create ample opportunities for deepening love, communication, resilience, and intimacy. With the right tools, agreements, and intentions, couples apart can thrive—even across a long distance. If you’re looking for support navigating an LDR, the therapists at Root to Rise therapy are here to help. Reach out to our client care coordinator today to get matched with a therapist!
Warmly,
Ali Eagle, AMFT
