Most people who overthink aren’t doing it because they enjoy worrying. They’re doing it because some part of them believes that if they think hard enough, long enough, or carefully enough, they can prevent pain, rejection, disappointment, or uncertainty.
The longer we go avoiding the obligation, the stronger the pressure becomes. The stronger the pressure, the further away we get from wanting to work on or accomplish the “should”. And in the space between “should” and “done”, anxiety covertly burrows under, expands, and fills the gap like a thick, nasty stink-bomb.
When you've spent years appearing self-sufficient, people often assume you don't need much support. You become the person everyone leans on while quietly wishing someone would ask how you're doing.
Many couples who work through their resistance to couples therapy ultimately find that the experience becomes a meaningful, weekly ritual of caring for their relationship.
The longer we go avoiding the obligation, the stronger the pressure becomes. The stronger the pressure, the further away we get from wanting to work on or accomplish the “should”. And in the space between “should” and “done”, anxiety covertly burrows under, expands, and fills the gap like a thick, nasty stink-bomb.
Many couples who work through their resistance to couples therapy ultimately find that the experience becomes a meaningful, weekly ritual of caring for their relationship.
The dependency on love to ultimately feel good about ourselves today is sometimes known as codependency or love addiction, and has become normalized in our society, especially in context to monogamous romantic relationships.
No matter how absurd or seemingly random, our dreams contain rich unconscious material that acts as a symbolic treasure hunt leading towards our inner psyche.
Brown’s profound quotes and speeches have made their way into the hearts, minds, and ears of so many different people that they’ve almost become anthropological. (Basic = Popular, and that’s usually for good reason). Rational, researched, and relatable, Brown’s concepts have also found their way into the therapy room, sometimes constituting the language of many psychological principles discussed between therapist and client.
When we experience disappointing responses to our efforts, it’s tempting to make that mean something about how unskilled we are, how incompetent we must be, or even how unlovable or undeserving of a person we feel we are. We tell ourselves a story that if we had just worked a little harder, or said the right thing, or “mastered” the extremely simple art of toasting toast, then we would receive a more favorable response and thus, feel better about ourselves.
Do you ever have “mixed feelings” or experience several different emotions all at once in response to one pertinent issue or life stressor? In these moments, does it sometimes feel like you’re sitting around a chaotic dining table with all of your most opinionated or eclectic family members talking about controversial topics like politics, social issues, simulation theory, flat-earth rhetoric or what kind of bagel is objectively most delicious? You may have just encountered the cacophony of your various inner parts, or your Internal Family System.
When it comes to the holiday season, food is often at the center of the festivities. Throughout history, food has been one of the primary representations of culture, class, comfort, family, and love. With so much food quite literally on the table, it can be easy to fall into whatever habits you may have around food or body image. Whatever your pattern or struggle, Intuitive Eating could be a welcome practice this holiday season.
One of the reasons why conflict becomes so dangerous and unruly in relationships is due to the heightened emotionality of each person and the natural defensive and retaliatory responses elicited. In other words, when we hurl our raw, level 10 emotions at another person during conflict, it will most likely be met by more heightened emotion, defensiveness, or even complete emotional withdrawal or shut down.
