What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session
Does taking the plunge into couples therapy feel a bit exciting, yet also intimidating? If that’s the case, you’re not alone and that feeling is actually very common. This is an experience that can really test you and your relationship, while also strengthening it in a way you’ve always wanted.
Starting this therapy process can lend a similar experience that individual therapy also has: breaking away from unhealthy cycles, reframing negative thought patterns in your relationship and strengthening your bond with yourself.
While you may or may not have pulled the trigger on finally reaching out about starting couples therapy, the first session can present some mixed emotions and lots of unknowns. Let’s talk through some expectations so you can feel best prepared!
Preparing For Your First Session/Tips:
Preparing for your first session can often reduce your anxiety and make the session feel more productive. You can prepare for your first session by:
Reflecting on your relationship: While reflecting on your relationship is a regular practice that you may already do, doing so intentionally before the session can also be helpful. What feels like the biggest challenges in your relationship? What do you hope will change in your relationship?
Solidifying your goals: What are your goals for your time in therapy with your partner? Is it to argue less? Find a way to communicate more effectively? Develop a deeper understanding of one another? Your goals may be different from those of your partner’s — and that’s totally fine.
Setting your expectations: This space is not about winning or proving your partner wrong — it’s to deepen your understanding of your relationship and how you both can show up in a way that feels safe. Managing your expectations can give you a chance to prepare for the challenging moments that may lie ahead.
Asking Questions: Bring questions to ask your therapist! This space is here to serve YOU! It’s normal to wonder things like: Are we ever going to do individual sessions? Is it okay to contact you outside of sessions? What is your approach to therapy?
Now that you’re all set for your first session, let’s run through what you can expect on the day of!
Introductions & Setting the Tone — Your therapist will take a few minutes at the start of your session to review their approach, limits to confidentiality and their practice’s policies. Your therapist might also highlight what the first few sessions will typically look like so you have a better idea of what to expect.
Exploring & Identifying Your Goals — It’s helpful to have a better understanding as to why you & your partner are seeking therapy. This is where the preparation tip of reflecting on your relationship might come into play! You and your partner will each get a chance to share — anything from improving your physical intimacy to landing on some better communication techniques.
Understanding the Relationship Dynamic — Your therapist may want to know: how you and your partner met, current strengths in the relationship and major milestones in the relationship. This can give the therapist a chance to observe how you and your partner interact.
It’s important to note that you won’t leave your first session feeling like you’ve fixed all your problems — in fact, it may just bring them to light. Be patient with yourself through the process and be prepared to stay consistent, as that’s the only way you will see real results!
Hopefully, this has given you a better idea of how to prepare and what to expect from your first couples therapy session! If you’re ready to get started, please contact our intake coordinator who can then match you with one of our therapists to begin your journey.
Warmly,
Monica Deyski, AMFT
