The importance of validation is something I emphasize with couples as it creates a dynamic based on understanding rather than score-keeping or proving right and wrong. In an emotionally charged conversation, it's common for individuals to focus primarily on their own emotional experience instead of their partner’s. Rather than listening to what the other person is saying, we may be thinking about our own response.
A common struggle for many of my clients in their 20s is navigating friendships. This includes friendship conflicts, growing apart, reassessing the closeness of the friendship, and defining what types of friendships feel fulfilling in which ones feel draining. In these conversations, we explore the importance of flexibility in friendships and why it becomes so much more pertinent during this life stage.
I have thought through every situation from every possible angle my brain can come up with and analyzed so much of my life and experience that it often feels exhausting. This “self-awareness” can start to feel incredibly frustrating when I have some understanding, yet I still find myself in familiar patterns or generally not feeling better. If this description sounds familiar to you, you might be intellectualizing your feelings vs. actually feeling them.
I recently stumbled upon the concept of animal chronotypes, which can be used to describe our personality traits based on our natural tendencies in social interactions and behavior. While these archetypes are often linked to sleep habits, they’re also super helpful for understanding how we connect with others. Each chronotype has its own unique traits and ways of navigating relationships.
We were discussing a painful experience, and I was once again struck and inspired by their resilience. In this situation, I found a way to express this sentiment in the moment. However, there are many instances where sharing in the moment might not be the most therapeutic response. Even when I don’t vocalize it, I want my clients to know I carry these feelings and this care with me. Reflecting on this, I began to consider all the things I wish my clients knew about me, about the therapeutic relationship, and the process.
Music has been shown to activate our limbic system, the part of our brain most responsible for memories and emotions. Listening to music, making music, and playing music have been shown to alleviate stress, discomfort, and some symptoms of mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. When we hear familiar songs, even just a few notes, we are instantly transported back to a memory, a time in our lives, when those sounds and lyrics played a part.
Metaphors have a powerful ability to illustrate abstract ideas. I absolutely love using metaphors with clients to discuss more complex human experiences in order to add a visual and contextual layer from which to understand these experiences, most often being our relationship to our thoughts and emotions. Unsurprisingly, many of the metaphors I use relate to nature, which I view as the ultimate teacher.
In my practice as a therapist, I’ve worked with clients who present a wide variety of symptoms and challenges. Over time, I’ve noticed one valuable intervention come up and prove effective time and time again for all of these symptoms and challenges: grounding techniques.
At some point in your pursuit of caring for your mental health, you may have stumbled across the words “Somatic Therapy” or “Somatic Experiencing.” While this approach is widely used, it often leaves therapy-seekers curious about its definition and importance. So, what does it really mean to engage in somatic therapy, and how is it helpful?
The phrase “bids for connection” was coined by husband and wife couples therapy powerhouse Julie and John Gottman. A “bid for connection” is any attempt for connection made by one person to another. These bids can be verbal, non-verbal, overt, or covert. We make countless bids for connection throughout our days within all of our relationships. For this blog post, we are going to focus on how this applies to our romantic relationships.
You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, watching the clock tick, and you start counting the hours of sleep and panicking about the next day if you don’t fall asleep this very second. Is this a familiar experience to you? I know it is for me. All my life, I’ve self-described as “a bad sleeper.” I struggle to fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling energized. After years of trying different techniques with minimal success, I was introduced to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I).
