You may have learned what to do or say to make things go smoother. You may have learned what behaviors or attitudes made people stay. You learned what made you easier to accept.
And slowly, those lessons became automatic.
Being Liked vs Being Known
Behaviors and Identity
Through much of my work with clients, I understand the importance of creating a distinction between behaviors and identity. In a recent session, a client expressed the cognitive dissonance they were experiencing due to the polarity of respecting and admiring their partner yet finding their current behaviors to be very off-putting. Having an awareness of the duality of a person’s character and behaviors can go a long way in increasing compassion, understanding, and communication.