Am I Ready for Therapy? - A Guide to Identifying When It’s Time To “Talk to Someone”
Do I Need Therapy?
A question many of us have asked ourselves. Maybe we’re going through an exciting work transition that is also making us feel overwhelmed and stressed. Perhaps we’re experiencing a sense of loss and grief after a difficult breakup. Maybe our thoughts keep racing, long after we’ve gotten in bed and tried to fall asleep. Or possibly, everything is going well, but we still feel like we could use someone to talk to. Sometimes it’s difficult to know if therapy is the right choice for you at the stage of your life that you’re in. So, how do we make that decision?
How To Know When It’s Time
The short answer is it depends on us. Which may not be the answer we’re looking for, but it’s true. Therapy is a relationship, a journey, an experience that is unique to each individual, and thus, can be started at any age, life stage, or point in a transition. As a clinician, I have worked with people who felt ready. They came into the sessions willing and eager to dive into their childhoods, or challenge their negative automatic thoughts, or explore their emotional experiences to better understand why they do what they do. I have also worked with individuals who weren’t feeling as ready and still reported feeling better or having a deeper understanding of themselves after our sessions had ended. The truth is, there is no right time to begin therapy. It can be helpful and effective no matter how we’re feeling before we begin.
That being said, here are a few identifying factors that may be a sign it’s time to begin therapy.
Things you used to enjoy no longer seem interesting.
You are pulling away or distancing from loved ones.
Your thoughts are spiraling out of control, or you’re overthinking.
You notice yourself feeling angrier more often than normal.
It's hard to concentrate and focus.
Your sleeping patterns have changed, either insomnia or hypersomnia.
Your romantic relationship has suffered.
You’re experiencing conflict within friendships or familial relationships.
You’re relying more than ever on coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, food, and excessive exercise,
You can’t stop thinking about a past event.
You feel generally sad, down, or hopeless.
You feel alone.
This list may seem long, but it is certainly not comprehensive. Therapy can be helpful in addressing a wide range of symptoms, even some that may not seem connected to mental health, such as a change in appetite. For individuals not experiencing any specific symptoms, therapy may be helpful in providing a neutral, safe space in which to discuss deeper feelings, complicated relationships, or process challenges at work.
Does This Mean Everyone Needs Therapy?
Definitely not. Therapy is not necessarily right for everyone, at every point in their life. And a good clinician isn’t going to manipulate you into starting or staying in therapy, and they certainly won’t create or make up problems for you to work through if there aren’t any present. Therapy is not meant to have mandatory attendance; it is meant to be a supportive space for as long as you need and/or want it.
This can look different depending on the clinician, however, therapy can involve talking through events, relationships, responsibilities, or hurdles in your life that are causing stress or anxiety. It can include processing trauma or exploring factors leading to insomnia or helping deal with the pain of grief. Therapy can be structured, in which the clinician works with you to tackle negative thoughts and build new strategies to take back control of your thoughts and feelings. It can also be fluid, exploring whatever big life questions may be weighing on your mind. What it always should be is safe, comfortable, and supportive.
If any of this sounds like it may be helpful, therapy could be the right choice for you.
Okay, I’m Ready. Now What?
Therapy can be an intimidating process to begin. The first step can often feel like the hardest. With an incredible array of options of clinics, private practices, and treatment centers, it can be overwhelming to sift through and pick the one therapist that may be a perfect fit. I’ve created a short step-by-step guide to help you with this process.
Step 1: Identify what you would like to work on. If you’re having racing thoughts, trouble concentrating, and you overthink every social interaction after the fact, you may want to search for a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety. If you’ve lost enjoyment in things you used to love, have isolated from friends and family, and are feeling generally sad or low, you may want to look for a therapist working with depressive symptoms. If you’re not sure what you want to work on, you can look for a clinician who promises to meet you where you’re at and explore together.
Step 2: Decide if you want to use insurance or pay out of pocket. There are a myriad of choices for therapy at any price point. If you are needing lower cost services, you may want to consider community mental health clinics, which can often offer sliding scale fees. If you would like to use insurance, you can use that criterion as a filter in your search.
Step 3: Read bios and watch introductory videos. Once you’ve narrowed your list down a bit, it’s time to go deeper into the background of your therapist options and see what might match up with the style you prefer. For example, you may want a clinician who is understanding and kind, but doesn’t back down from pushing you to grow in new ways. While reading through bios, look for keywords such as “challenging,” “gentle confrontation,” “directive,” or “accountability.” Or maybe you prefer someone who can model the kind of compassion and unconditional positive regard you’ve been wanting to learn how to apply to yourself? Look for phrases like “Empathic,” “Humanistic,” or “Client-centered.”
Step 4: Try a consult call. If you’re having trouble picking a therapist, you can ask for a consult call. While I can’t promise every clinic or clinician can offer this, many therapists are happy to provide a short introductory call. Doing a consult call can be a great way to ask more detailed questions and see if the therapist may be a good fit for you.
Step 5: Give it a try! The best way to find out if a therapist is right for you is to give it a go. The most important part of therapy is to feel comfortable, understood, and safe with a clinician. If you try working with a therapist and it doesn’t feel like a good fit, you are more than encouraged to voice that with your therapist, provide feedback, and share your feelings about the therapy itself. Often, this kind of conversation can lead to an even more trusting therapeutic relationship. However you are also always allowed to keep exploring and find something that may work better.
If you’ve read through this and decided therapy could be a good step for you, you’ve done the hardest part already. If you’re interested in exploring what could come next, schedule a consultation call with our Client Care Coordinator to start working with a therapist who can provide the unconditional support and care that makes therapy so effective.
