Sophia's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Good Boundaries

The purpose of a boundary is to protect our own wellbeing. It is not a punishment to anyone else or a selfish act. Setting a boundary with someone else means: when they do xyz [something that crosses your boundaries], then you will do xyz [something to promote your wellbeing]. Here are a few examples of boundaries:

Good Boundaries
Jessica's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Opposite Action

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the very thing you want to do the least is what would help you the most? When all you want to do is isolate, but the most beneficial step would be to pick up the phone and call a friend? When all you want to do is close the blinds and lay in bed, but you’d really feel better by getting outside? The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skill of opposite action can be helpful when we notice this behavior coming up!

Opposite Action
Atalie's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Nature Metaphors: Therapeutic Tools

Metaphors have a powerful ability to illustrate abstract ideas. I absolutely love using metaphors with clients to discuss more complex human experiences in order to add a visual and contextual layer from which to understand these experiences, most often being our relationship to our thoughts and emotions. Unsurprisingly, many of the metaphors I use relate to nature, which I view as the ultimate teacher.

Nature Metaphors: Therapeutic Tools
Relationships & Communication, Kalie's posts
Becky White George
Differences In Sexual Desire

Instead of solely focusing on initiating sex, prioritize building emotional intimacy through positive interactions, including non-sexual affection. By allowing sexual arousal to naturally emerge from the playful, fun experiences that you’re both enjoying - laughing, talking, hugging, kissing, flirting - you can build a more satisfying bond without the agenda of having sex. In the midst of hanging out and having fun, your responsive desire partner may start to get aroused.

Differences In Sexual Desire
Self Care & Mindfulness, Sophia's Posts
Becky White George
Craving Dopamine

Dopamine, often referred to as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, plays a pivotal role in our brain's reward system. It's the chemical messenger responsible for feelings of pleasure, motivation, and reinforcement. And in today's fast-paced world, where stress seems to lurk around every corner, it's no wonder we often find ourselves seeking out dopamine in various forms.

Craving Dopamine

Relationships & Communication

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Estranged Parents

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Estranged Parents

If a friend came to you for advice about how to move forward in a relationship that was causing them continual distress and pain, what advice would you give them? If you’ve been in therapy before, you’d probably encourage them to start by communicating their feelings. If that doesn’t work, setting boundaries would most likely be the next course of action. If the boundaries were not respected and your friend continued to be hurt, you would start to hint at ending the relationship. This advice feels relatively straightforward in a romantic or companion relationship. But what happens if the relationship that is causing continual distress and pain is with a parent? Does the course of action change? This very question comes up in therapy sessions with adult children regularly, yet rarely without some sense of guilt or shame. In reality, around 27% of adults experience family estrangement that either they or another family member initiates (Karl Pillemer, Fault Lines). So much of the stigma surrounding family estrangement is based upon the assumption that our parents being in our lives is always the best option for our mental health. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you are an adult child struggling with having an estranged relationship with a parent, here are some important things to remember:

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Split Ambivalence

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Split Ambivalence

“Splitting the ambivalence” describes the phenomenon that occurs when two people become so polarized in their stances that they are unable to step out of their positions. This occurs in relationships of all forms, but for this conversation I’m going to focus on romantic relationships. As Esther Perel describes it, “people come in with a story that is either/or” and the story becomes ‘I want one thing and my partner wants the opposite’. When one person adamantly says they want one thing, and the other passionately says no, it feels like one partner has 0% doubt and the other is 100% doubtful. Rather than meeting in the middle, one partner takes on one half of the perspective, which polarizes and puts the other half on their partner. I know this can all be a bit confusing in generalities, so here’s an example of how it can play out in couples therapy.

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11 Tips for Online Dating

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11 Tips for Online Dating

From no-shows to no sparks, off-putting behaviors, ghosting and heartbreak, online dating can be a fraught experience. But you can use the tips below to make some thoughtful tweaks, and it can become a wonderful way to meet new people, and maybe even “The One!” As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have witnessed hundreds of clients explore online dating who have had experiences ranging from “this was the worst date of my life” all the way to “I’ve finally met my person.”

Not only am I privy to these tales of woe and love as a therapist, I also did quite a bit of online dating myself before I met my husband.

Over many years as a therapist, I have learned some excellent strategies for making dating online a safe, fun, and fruitful experience. Make sure to read through to the end for my most important tip of all!

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"Listen to me!"

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"Listen to me!"

How to get your honey to listen—and actually understand—what you are saying.

How many times have you had the feeling that even though your honey was listening to you, they weren’t actually hearing you? How would you like to learn the secret to effective communication so that you can feel both heard AND understood?

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CBT & Relationship Therapy

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CBT & Relationship Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) is an evidenced- based treatment that has been shown to significantly reduce depression and anxiety which may be contributing to problems in your relationships.  Frequently, couples come in to session making broad generalizations about one another: “You never listen!” “You always forget to take out the trash”, “Your work is more important to you than I am!”  We then infer meaning from such generalizations such as “You don't love me enough,”  “You are losing interest" or “You don't understand me.”

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Communication in Relationships

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Communication in Relationships

What is healthy communication? How do I know if my partner and I are communicating effectively?

While many of us consider ourselves to be “good listeners”, the truth is that many of us do not really listen.  The skill of Active Listening can move you and your beloved lightyears forward in your ability to communicate effectively with one another.  This series of entries will introduce various tips to improve active listening skills in your relationship.

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Dependency in Relationships

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Dependency in Relationships

What is co-dependency? Is it always unhealthy? Learn more about healthy types of dependency here.

It’s a common experience to become overwhelmed and fearful in relationships. Something I hear frequently in working with couples is the underlying question, “How do I know that this person won’t leave me?”. 

 

Start With You. Today.