I recommend journaling to many clients, and I talk with friends about how good it feels once I actually do it. And there’s always that moment — when I realize I’m not just recording my day anymore. I’m processing and speaking from a place I don’t usually slow down enough to access, and my inner world becomes so much more available.
So often we hear the phrase “new year, new you”. It creates this inevitable expectation that stepping into the new year should feel like a big change to ourselves, our goals, and/or our habits. For this reason, January is a month that can often hold so many mixed emotions: anxiety, guilt, pressure, shame, etc. We begin to feel more behind than inspired.
Many people expect that a steady, responsive, emotionally available partner will automatically feel calming. Instead, many people feel tense or suspicious when someone shows up in a genuinely healthy way. This isn’t a personality flaw, it’s a predictable attachment and nervous system response. So why is this?
My bag only gets stuck on the door handle when I’m having a bad day. Everyone is super annoying when I’m grumpy. My friend’s irritating boyfriend breathes too loudly. When I’m feeling happy it’s easier to find joy in the smaller everyday moments. Does my inner monologue resonate with you?
Shame can be one of the most painful and overpowering emotions in the human experience. It can feel intense, overwhelming, and really hard to talk about. Some people believe both guilt and shame are useful emotions that keep us aligned with our values.
There is so much complexity in relating to others’ experiences while effectively relaying our own experience! One of the most powerful practices I’ve adopted and shared with my clients is the art of holding two truths at one.
These parts may represent different aspects of our personality that developed in response to life experiences, traumas, or conflicts. Some parts may be protective, while others may hold pain or fear. You might uncover a part that's always trying to protect you, like your own personal bodyguard. Or maybe there's a part that's still hurting from something in the past, carrying around some emotional baggage. Each one of us has a part referred to as the "Self" – our core, undamaged essence that holds qualities such as compassion, wisdom, and clarity. The overarching goal of IFS therapy is to connect with oneself and cultivate a harmonious relationship between the Self and other inner parts.
Regulating your nervous system often requires a conscious effort to recalibrate and bring balance back to a system that may be on overdrive
Tears can be triggered when we experience physical pain or discomfort. This response serves as a social function to signal to others that help or comfort is needed!
There’s a common misbelief that therapists are like all-knowing wizards perched on top of a mountain, overseeing everyone’s climb
We all want to feel valid in our experience—and for our partner to acknowledge it.
As a therapist, one of the most effective tools I teach couples is how to practice validation.
Once they start actively strengthening their validation muscle, emotional security can be nurtured. This is because validation in a relationship increases trust, strengthens empathy, and creates space for vulnerability.
In the language of Sanskrit, “mandala” means “circle.” In its simplest form, it's a geometric configuration of symbols and design. Mandalas have been used across cultures and within various traditions for thousands of years to embody unity and the connection between the self and the cosmos. Mandalas represent a sense of wholeness.
In my practice as a therapist, I’ve worked with clients who present a wide variety of symptoms and challenges. Over time, I’ve noticed one valuable intervention come up and prove effective time and time again for all of these symptoms and challenges: grounding techniques.
The relationship between you and your therapist is an extremely unique and special bond. Your therapist sees the most vulnerable parts of you. They hold you accountable to your goals while also being your biggest cheerleader. The relationship is built on an emotional bond of trust, care, and respect, and research actually shows that the strength of the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of successful treatment. The therapeutic process is the rapport-building stage, the processing stage, the stage of change and/or maintenance, and the termination stage.
